Where He Leads I'll Follow

Busy busy days

2010-12-06T11:43:00.000-08:00

It has been way too long since I have posted. Things have been busy in our household here in the last 2 months. After months and months of searching, Chris was finally offered a preaching position. We didn't go north like we had hoped, but it is a great opportunity to gain experience. We are now farther south in Arkansas. We packed up and moved on Nov 15 and have been busy since then trying to get settled. The hardest part has been moving with a newborn. It has been hard to get much of anything done. But, we are doing the best we can. It has been absolutely fantastic to finally be living in a house! It is almost twice as big as our apartment was, it has 4 bedrooms, and it is on almost an acre of land. I think the kids are just used to being in really tight quarters though because they are having a hard time spreading out. Even when they are outside. Yesterday was the first day they started venturing off the patio. We have been really enjoying it though. The weather down here is something to get used to. I'm not used to it being in the 60's in December!

Chris has been settling in in his new position as well. He is technically only "supposed" to have office hours from 8-12 (which he set) but he often goes back after lunch for a few more hours just because there is so much for him to get done. We live less than a mile away from the church so really it isn't a big deal and to be honest I rather enjoy having some time to myself again. It has also been really nice getting back into routines again. We took a break from schooling for a few weeks just because there was just so much to do. One of the first things we did when we moved here was get our library cards and we were able to start back in their curriculum just in time for Thanksgiving. Faith has been doing really well in her reading. She can read pretty much anything with a short vowel now and we are finishing up consonant digraph endings. We will probably work on reviews the rest of this week, do "NG" endings (-ing, -ang, -ung, -ong) next week, and then start long-vowel words the week after that. Have to admit I'm a little nervous at that one! This year Faith told me what to write in a letter to Santa, I wrote it on her paper, and that is what she did for her copy work. It was our first attempt at copy work and she did an excellent job. She is so proud of herself for writing her letter all by herself. From now on we will either be doing copywork using scriptures, or it will be to write a letter to her new penpal (who is one of her best friends from church).

Samantha has been doing really good in her reading too. She hasn't started the actual blending yet, but we are working on word recognition. She either points to a word in a sentence, or she is given a picture and the last 2 letters of the word and she has to figure out what the first letter is (ie has a picture of a cat and __at, and then is given 4 letters to choose from). I tried started the blending with her but she just wasn't getting it and was just getting mad, so we decided to put that part on hold for a little longer. It has been a little more of a struggle with her because she has an "I can't" attitude when given anything new to do and before even trying.

Everything has been different with Elijah. The girls both started talking so early but with him he still doesn't say much. Some things are more clearer, but when he does say something it is still pretty unrecognizable. I don't know if he is just having a speech problems or what. Chris and I have really been working with him on saying things and when we read books to him we ask about what the different things are in the pictures and make him tell us or have him repeat after us. He is by far more physical than the girls were. He is constantly climbing on anything and everything and is always swinging things like a bat or throwing balls, and is always wanting to wrestle around. He loves to be read too which is wonderful since we read a lot! He is also a little whirlwind. I can't keep up with him and the messes he makes. He is always into SOMETHING. I'm not exaggerating! The other day he got into a box which had the fuchsia dye we used to dye Faith's hockey gloves. He had it absolutely everywhere and he was covered from head to toe. Surprisingly it came off of his skin pretty easily, his hair was a different story. His hair is still tinted pink. It is a full-time job just keeping up with him.

Sweet little baby Carrie is getting bigger by the day. On the 10th she will be 3 months old. She is already fitting into some clothes that are 6 months. She is a big baby! At her 2 month appointment he was 13lbs 9 oz (95%) and was almost 24 inches long (90%). She is definitely a healthy baby! All of our breastfeeding woes are behind us now and we have both been doing wonderfully. Our saving grace is when the lactation consultant called me in a prescription for All Purpose Nipple Ointment. This stuff was just simply a miracle. It healed me up in no time and we have had no problems since. When I told my OB about it at my 6 week check up he said he has heard good things about that stuff. Which, honestly made me angry that he never thought to get me some and which also probably would have saved my breastfeeding experience with Elijah. I know I can't change anything about the past, but still. Carrie is more of a high maintenance baby like Faith was. She isn't too into sleeping and wants to be held all. the. time. And not just by anyone. By just me. The second Chris tries to hold her she will start throwing a fit. The second I take her back she is fine. Faith was the same exact way. It makes getting things done very very difficult! She just loves to smile though and it lights up her whole face. Today when I was playing with her she giggled at me for the first time. Such a beautiful experience.

Well, I think I have written enough for today and there are things I need to try to get done. Now that we are getting more settled though I will write more!

And not so blissful times

2010-09-23T15:10:00.001-07:00

In less than 2 weeks I have had mastitis twice and have a case of thrush. I am currently trying to fight my second bout.

Breastfeeding is an art alright, and it looks like I'm failing art. I had none of these problems with Faith or Samantha, and then had tons of problems with Elijah. Looks like I'm starting off where we left off with Elijah.

I don't know what I'm going to do if I continue to have problems. The first time I had it with Carrie I knew I was to blame. I think my bra was too tight and I was wearing it all the time because I couldn't stand for anything to touch me, and then Carrie was sleeping for several hours through the night and I was so happy to get some sleep that I didn't wake her up, causing me to get engorged.

BUT since Sunday I have been going braless unless I go out, which isn't often and I wake her at least every 3 hours at night. So I have no clue what went wrong this time.

She is quite the eater though. She usually wants to eat during the day every 1 1/2 hours. Then, it takes her 30 minutes to eat. So I am pretty much feeding this girl around the clock.

Sweet bliss

2010-09-14T17:02:00.000-07:00

Carrie Elaine was born on 9/10 at 9:27 am, weighed 8 lbs even and was 19 1/4 inches long!

The labor was definitely short. They started pitocin at about 6:30 and I had my water broke at about 8:30. When he broke my water I was 4-5, which was impressive seeing as how the contractions hadn't been bad at all (I was a 3 when I came in). So he breaks my water and I go ahead and get an epidural even though things weren't bad yet. The epidural obviously took a little while to get placed and the contractions were still not bad at all the whole time. They had it in place at about 9:00. When they got the epidural in, she checked me again and I was a 6. Unfortunately it wasn't taking in part of my right side though and there was a spot that I really felt the contractions in, and it really was hurting bad. They had me roll over to my side for awhile, which didn't work either. They were finally able to fix the problem, though I'm not really quite sure what they were doing. I told the nurse that it was a lot better but there was still a lot of pressure in my bottom during contractions that I had to breathe through. I didn't think anything about it but just figured it wasn't working again. She went ahead and checked me again, and low and behold I was an 8! Now mind you this was only 10 minutes since she had checked me last. I was just in shock. She ran out of the room to call the doctor. He was there within 5 minutes and there was already every nurse in my room and my bed being broke down. My doctor didn't even have time to get completely dressed. He sat down and I guess was waiting for a contractions. I thought he was doing some pulling down there and seriously if I had been able to feel my legs I would have kicked him. Turns out it was the baby's head coming down! The next contraction they had me push. A whopping 3 pushes later and our little Carrie was born. So um yeah, went from a 6 to complete in 20 minutes.

I was in complete shock and wasn't ready at all for delivery time, mentally. Chris kept waiting for me to break down crying, like I always do, but I just sat there in shock that it was all over. I was expecting it to take at least a couple of more hours! I just sat there looking at her and trying to figure out if all of that really happened. I tried nursing her before they took her away to the nursery but she just sat there with my breast in her mouth and she was just like um, why is this here and what am I supposed to do. I was afraid she wasn't going to get nursing down very well. Needless to say, I was completely wrong. When they finally brought her back to me a few hours later she was starving and latched on right away. From then on out she nursed at least every 2 hours for 30 minutes at a time.

Unfortunately Chris had come down with a stomach bug that I suffered from that previous Monday. He didn't have a fever and was able to be there for the labor and delivery, but he only held her for a second after she was born, just as a precaution. He also went home as soon as they took the baby so he could get some rest. He called me that afternoon and unfortunately had woken up with a slight fever and so he obviously thought it best for him to stay home. I was completely bummed, but also felt the same way. The kiddos were able to meet their new baby sister on Saturday and they have all been doting on her ever since. Even Elijah! Every few minutes he will have to come by and touch (lightly!) her head and sometimes will give her a little kiss. It is just too precious!

Now onto the name. We really liked the name Anya and were planning on naming her that. After she was born though it just wasn't right. We then went through many more names and just couldn't find one that seemed to fit her. So nameless our baby girl stayed. On Saturday we thought it would be Claire. I really love that name. But when Chris came back that evening Claire didn't seem to fit either. Finally, about 15 minutes before we were discharged on Sunday we seemed to have found the name that fit her. I don't know how many times my nurses kept asking what her name was, and I felt horrible that we hadn't come up with anything yet. I don't know why it was so difficult this time.

Needless to say, we are in love. Completely and totally in love. Again.

Today is the day

2010-09-10T01:01:00.000-07:00

It's about 3am and today is the day I will be meeting this little one. I have to be at the hospital at 5am where they will start the induction. Obviously not exactly the way I wanted to do it but it is what it is. Maybe if I lived an hour away from the hospital again like I did with Faith and Samantha then I would have gone into labor on my own, so I have to suffer in the car with contractions. Instead with Elijah and this one I live about 5 minutes from the hospital and so of course I have to be induced. Sigh.

This girls are just over the moon excited though and can't wait to find out if they will be getting a new brother or sister. This pregnancy has been so exciting for them. It's odd to think though that this is more than likely our last one. I say more than likely because we absolutely will not be trying for anymore, but I know sometimes God's plan is different. I am mentally done with pregnancy. So it's just strange every time I feel this baby move just thinking it will be the last time I feel a baby move inside of me. To me, it is the best part of being pregnant. But I won't lie. This pregnancy has been difficult for me. I have been exhausted throughout most of it and for the last 3 months have been hurting pretty bad (in the hips) and it has been really hard to move. And the heartburn this time! Oi! In the last few days the itching has been unbelievable too, and I have never itched before.

I won't have any computer access while I'm in the hospital and so I won't be able to update everyone probably until Sunday or Monday. Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers!!!!

Waiting, waiting, and more waiting!

2010-09-08T05:48:00.000-07:00

That's about all that has been happening here in our happy little household!

Needless to say, this little one is refusing to come up. Big surprise seeing as how the other 3 didn't want to come out either and were all late. There is an end in sight though. If I haven't had it by Friday I will induced Friday morning. With Elijah I was pretty upset about this, but honestly this time around I am just ready to be done. It is unbelievable how hard on my body this pregnancy has been. It hurts to move. Plus, add in the job search and Chris not being able to go out until I have the baby, and the fact that my mother-in-law has been staying with us in our little 2 bedroom apartment for the last 3 weeks until I have the baby, and yeah...definitely ready to have this baby!

We are still waiting on jobs too, of course. It's funny how it seems to go in spurts. Everyone seems to call for tryouts at the same time, and then you go a month or two without hearing a peep from anyone. Granted, there hasn't even been any jobs posted since August doesn't help. We have heard about a couple of jobs through the grapevine and he has applied for all of those, so again it's just the waiting game. He also applied to one in a beautiful, touristy area up in Michigan but let's just say we aren't holding our breath on that one! Chances are slim to none that it is a conservative congregation so we aren't expecting to hear back from them. Still, it would be nice! lol

So that's where we are so far.

Seems like it has been forever since I have posted pictures. I will post more as soon as this little one decided to come into this world!

Sorry for that

2010-08-26T17:21:00.001-07:00

Sorry for my little break down the other day. I obviously have a hard time dealing with things when I'm pregnant! By the next day I was much better. Yes, I'm still really worried about finances, but I don't feel quite so defeated now. Obviously that congregation is not where we were supposed to be, and while it still stinks that we have no plans to move, I know God knows much better than I do about where we need to go.

Chris is in talks with one congregation so we will see how that goes. The only tricky part is going to be if they want him to come and try out, and if they do when that might be. Trying to schedule around the baby has been difficult. While I don't want to be induced, that might have to be the option. We will deal with that bridge when it comes.

I went to my doctor appointment on Tuesday and I am now 3 centimeters. Still only about 50% effaced which stinks, but I thought I would still be 2 centimeters like I was the week before. For the last 4 days I have been having tons of contractions and a lot of pressure. I've never had it like this before. HOPEFULLY that means things will get started any day (or tonight...not I'm wishful thinking or anything! lol). My due date is Sept 3rd and so tomorrow I will be 39 weeks.

While my last post might have come across that I wasn't thankful for anything, because at the time I was acting like a spoiled brat, the contrary is true. I am blessed beyond measure and while things might be a little rough right now I know there is a purpose and learning experience.

The big black cloud

2010-08-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

It just continues to loom over us. Why can't things just be easy for us, just once? Chris finally wrote the congregation he went to a few weeks ago. Before he left he asked if they knew when they would have a decision and he was told they would let him know in a couple of days. It has now been 2 weeks and he hadn't heard anything. He wrote them this morning and just got an email back saying they were still reviewing applications and they would let him know. Um yeah, can you say that would be a big fat no?

I am so over all of this. I am just so shocked at all the games that are played. I'm tired of some of these places making it sound like we all but have a job, just to be told weeks/months later that we didn't get it. Why the false hope? We just want to go somewhere and get settled. Limbo stinks beyond belief.

I laugh thinking about how optimistic we were back in May. We heard so many times how Chris shouldn't have a problem at all finding a job that we actually believed it. And now, here we are almost in September without even so much of a glimmer of a job. Our financial support is obviously not coming in anymore. We are so very gracious that we have gotten it for as long as we have. Obviously it could have stopped at the end of June but several congregations decided to continue supporting Chris through this month to try to give him time to find work. We are about to be a family of 6 with no money coming in. Chris is trying to find any work at all but obviously in this economy he is even having a hard time finding secular work.

Yes I realize I have done nothing but whine lately, but quite honestly, I'm scared. I'm really scared. And it doesn't look likely that things will be looking up any time soon. You can't help but question what is wrong with us that no one wants us.

Sigh

2010-08-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

I am a complete grump today. I am just so worn out and overstressed.

Chris's brother passed away on Wednesday evening and so Thursday we packed up and heading up to his mom's. We knew it was coming as he had cancer in his pancreas, lung, and liver. He was 5'8 and was barely over 100 lbs. He was only 54 and he looked like he was over 70. Chris knew he wouldn't make it through the summer. So on Saturday was the funeral, which Chris officiated. Some people may think it was a little strange for him to officiate his own brother's funeral but he wanted to make sure it was heartfelt and personal. Since he didn't go to church (though Chris was able to get him to repent and come back to the Lord as he was baptized when he was younger) he had already been sick and wasn't able to get out at all and so while we could have found someone else to officiate, they wouldn't have known him at all and it would have been really routine. It was the first funeral he had done and he was really nervous, but it went really well and he did a wonderful job. He definitely gave his brother a great send off. He said it was really strange to only have 2 living brothers now, as one of his other brothers was killed about 10 years ago when he was hit head-on on his motorcycle when a car crossed over into the other lane going around a curve.

I have also not been feeling really well. Just lots of contractions and really really hurting, which makes sleeping not very easy. Add that to all the traveling we have been doing and I am just one worn out girl.

Oh yeah, and still nothing on the job. We were told they would let us know in a couple of days. We are now going on over a week. I'm taking that as not a good sign. They asked him the other day to fill in some blanks on his resume and asked for job information going back to 92. He did the best he could, but that was almost 20 years ago! During a time when he wasn't even a Christian. He was in his early 20's and was pretty much a bum. So who knows. So it is quite stressful around here. No job, no money, and a baby who will be here soon.

Sigh.

Trying to hang on and trust the Lord and not get caught up on when I think things should happen.

Motivation at last

2010-08-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like having constant contractions all night while your husband is 1300 miles away and you are home by yourself to kick your butt in gear and get motivated. I absolutely cannot wait until he gets home on Tuesday morning (well Monday around midnight). Just the thought of delivering without him being here makes me cry. I really was getting scared last night though. I usually don't start feeling this way until about 38 weeks or so, if that. So it has come as quite a surprise that I am having these types of contractions, having this type of pressure, and having this type of crampiness so early. I'm trying to really take it easy until Chris gets home, after that it's game on! lol

So, the first thing on my To Do list: Pick out names. How sad is that?

I have a list for the hospital bag, for things I need to buy, and for things I need to do. I imagine I will go out on Tuesday after my doctor appointment to pick up the things on my Need to Buy list. Hopefully, Chris will come home with a job so I won't feel guilty for having to buy some things!

He said it is really beautiful up in Montana. Tomorrow he will be officially trying out and meeting everyone so please keep him in your prayers. I always get so nervous for him! He tends to get going a little fast when he gets nervous so hopefully he will be able to slow himself down.

I am so not ready.

2010-08-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

So lets see...tomorrow I am going to be 36 weeks. Which means in 4 weeks, plus or minus, this little one will be coming. Do you know what we have ready? Absolutely nothing. Not one thing.

All of the baby clothes are still sitting in storage. The crib is in pieces in our bedroom. I have nothing washed or sterilized. I haven't bought any going-home outfits. I haven't even THOUGHT about a hospital bag let alone get one started. We don't even have names, whether it be a boy or a girl.

Am I just in denial that things are getting close or what? What in the world is my problem? I just cannot get motivated to do anything. I feel absolutely no urgency.

I honestly think a part of my problem is I absolutely did NOT want to still be here, living in this apartment when the baby came. I didn't even let myself think about the possibility. I hoped and prayed that Chris would find a job before August hit so we could get moved in plenty of time. Well, obviously the beginning of August has come and gone and we are still here, jobless. And now we have passed the deadline. We both said that if he hadn't found anything by the first of August we would be cutting it too close to move anywhere until after the baby is born. And it is. There is no way I would feel comfortable moving anything now before the baby comes. Which is depressing.

I hate being here. Have I mentioned that??? I have no clue where I am going to put anything for the baby, which is probably also part of the problem. There is just no space left.

Chris is flying out tomorrow for a tryout in Montana and will be gone for 4 days. He has to leave here about 5 am and won't be back until just before midnight on Monday night. I hate that he is going to be gone that long. I don't think we have every been apart that long, and it's kind of creepy to be home by yourself at night with just the kids. We are obviously hoping he gets the job, but most of all we are hoping we get an answer one way or the other quickly. It's wishful thinking, but hopefully before he leaves there on Monday afternoon. Although, this is Chris and I you are talking about so we probably won't hear anything until September.

Sorry about the whiny post. I'm thinking I probably shouldn't have written tonight. Stress levels and emotions are at a max. And I now think, just in writing all of this out, that the hormones are starting to kick in because now all I want to do is go cry into my pillow.

My dearest hubby:

2010-08-02T19:01:00.000-07:00

When I just happen to mention certain ice cream blizzards that just happen to sound really good, it is advisable NOT to reply with, "you do realize it doesn't get any easier to lose weight the older you get, right".

It's 90+ degrees out and I am almost 9 months pregnant. I have a built-in heater growing inside of me. I'm hot! AND, just because I said it sounded good doesn't mean I was going to go out and get it...it just SOUNDED good!

Baby update

2010-08-01T18:34:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the delay! Really though, there wasn't much to say. It was just your normal boring routine. I will have the Strep B test at the next appointment and he will start checking me at that appointment and every appointment afterwards. Things are getting close! So my next appointment is next Tuesday and then they will be every week after that.

I am definitely ready, though I fully expect to go over my due date. Still though, I'm ready! I am just such a grouch and my patience level is nil. It hurts to walk, it hurts to sleep, it hurts to get up. And it is HOT! Being pregnant throughout the summer has definitely been difficult to say the least. I don't go outside unless absolutely necessary, which I think has been a part of my mood problems. Loved being pregnant throughout the winter...throughout the summer, not so much.

As a positive though, Faith absolutely loves feeling the baby move. She had her hand on my stomach at church tonight and had a huge grin on her face when it would move. It was just too precious and completely melts the heart.

Burnin down the house

2010-07-26T19:52:00.000-07:00

I am just going to throw it out that one way to NOT impress a congregation is by almost burning down their lake house. Not that I would ever do that. Ahem.

Chris and I and the girls went back to Kentucky for a tryout with another congregation. The couple had a lake house that we stayed at, which WOULD have been really cool had we not had a one year old. A 16 month old + lots of breakables everywhere = one very stressed mama and daddy. One of us had to be right there with for the entire time. We seriously could not turn our back. We somehow left without having anything broken.

As mentioned in the title, I did, however, almost burn down their house. I was ironing my shirt Sunday morning. I had about half of it done when I noticed it wasn't really getting any wrinkles out anymore. I noticed that the light wasn't on, and then I touch the bottom and noticed that wasn't all that hot either. I grabbed the plug to pull it out and it started to pop, like it was shorting out. I pulled my hand away and 2 seconds later there are flames coming out of the cord. Talk about freaking out! I just stood there for a second horrified and then just yanked the cord out of the outlet. It fried half the cord and the outlet was completely black. Ah yes, nothing like having to tell your host that you fried their iron and almost burned down their house. Nope, I didn't feel like an idiot at all!

It was a really strange tryout though. The men didn't meet with him to talk about goals, expectations, what have you...absolutely nothing. In fact, the only ones we saw outside of actual service were the couple who owned the house we stayed in. When we were on our way home we were just kind of like...ooooookkkkkay. It felt like he was just doing fill-in preaching. So not really sure what to think about that.

While we were in Kentucky Chris got a call from 2 other congregations. One of which was from the congregation I talked about below. They had emailed earlier in the week and had explained that they had spent a lot of money earlier in the year to try preachers out, had one hired, he was supposed to start in June but had to turn it down at the last minute. They were therefore seriously considering just doing a telephone interview and then hiring from there. Well, they called Saturday and said the men had talked and they wanted to FLY Chris out there. Gulp. I'm really hoping that if they are paying for him to fly out there (because it wasn't cheap) that that is a really really good sign. So in 11 days he will be heading out. Obviously I can't fly and won't be going. Nope, not jealous at all! We are pretty sure he is the only one they are flying out though.

He also got a call from a congregation in South Carolina. Unfortunately though it doesn't seem like he will be able to go there. The only time in August they could have him there is at the end of August. Chris explained that he would love to come and try out but that is just too close to my due date. And they were wanting me to come too. And they wanted him to drive, even if he did end up having to come by himself. So yeah, a 13 hour drive, by himself 1-2 weeks from my due date. Not so good.

It is obviously getting really really hard to be able to schedule tryouts seeing how we are just about 5 weeks to my due date. Chris doesn't want to travel too far after this trip to Montana. Will I go earlier? hehe, um, history tells us no. Still, he doesn't want to risk it.

Hopefully we will hear something soon from someone. We are really really hoping he gets the job in Montana! We still aren't quite sure what we are going to do in August financially wise. So keep the prayers coming.

And can I just say, I absolutely can't believe I am almost 35 weeks pregnant! I have an OB appointment tomorrow and so I will update more on that tomorrow. I know, I know, I have you on the edge or your seat. How will you sleep tonight! lol

Ring...

2010-07-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

Ring...

Ring...

Ring...

Man, I am obviously NOT a jedi.

Trying to will Chris's phone to ring isn't working.

We are waiting on news for a tryout. On Saturday they said they were interested but they had to meet Sunday on when we would come up. We are still waiting word.

I refuse to think of it as an option until a date is scheduled.

In other good news, Chris has another tryout in Kentucky. On Saturday he had 2 calls from churches before he even got up. The one in which I'm trying to will our phone to ring, and the one in Kentucky.

Please keep up the prayers guys!

Sex Ed

2010-07-19T11:50:00.000-07:00

I ran across this article and it made me chuckle thinking about that guy who told Chris we need to teach our children about this by the time they are 8 (aka 2nd grade). Tell me, is this what you want your young child learning about? When I had sex ed for the first time in 5th grade it was about different body parts...not about actual sexual intercourse. Since when did this become the responsibility of the school system?

Anger Over Sex Ed Proposal to Teach First Graders About 'Gay Love'

A proposed sex education program in a Montana school district that teaches fifth-graders the different ways people have intercourse and first-graders about gay love has infuriated parents and forced the school board to take a closer look at the issue.

Helena school trustees were swamped Tuesday night at a hearing that left many of the hundreds of parents in attendance standing outside a packed board room. They urged the school board in this city nestled in the Rocky Mountains to take the sex education program back to the drawing board.

The proposed 62-page document covers a broad health and nutrition education program and took two years to draft. But it is the small portion dealing with sexual education that has drawn the ire of many in the community who feel it is being pushed forward despite its obvious controversial nature.

Parents appeared most worried about pieces of the plan that teaches first-graders about same-gender relationships, fifth-graders that sexual intercourse includes "vaginal, oral, or anal penetration," and high school students about erotic art. The curriculum would also teach kindergartners anatomical terms such as penis, vagina, breast, nipples, testicles, scrotum and uterus.

"They made this more controversial by adding in all this stuff like same-gender relationships to small children, teaching body parts to kindergartners, and teaching erotic art to ninth through 12th-graders," said Mikal Wilkerson, who has five children in the school system and a husband who sits on the school board. "They even teach about anxiety about sexual performance in high school."

Supporters say the proposed health education curriculum contains honest, science-based information on wellness and allows students to make better decisions.

The board takes the issue up again next month, and the outrage suggests that members could alter the plan to deal with all the complaints. One resident said parents may have to consider impeachment of board members or a lawsuit if it goes forward.

Marianne Rencher, a lawyer who will have a second-grader and a kindergartner in the school system next year, wants certain aspects of the sex education program taken out, particularly the fifth-grade curriculum about intercourse. She said the rest of the health program could go forward while the sex education is recrafted.

Trustee Terry Beaver said he thinks much in the policy is favorable, but believes the public backlash means they should carve out the sexuality elements and deal with them separately.

"It appears to be a strong divisive issue. I think when the community is that strongly divided we need to take a further look at it," Beaver said.

Beaver said his issue with the plan revolves on whether certain components are being taught too young.

"I don't know that anything needs to be taken out," he said. "Some of it might be age inappropriate. We are going to have to consider how we teach it and when we teach it."

Done

2010-07-16T11:15:00.001-07:00

Well that book is closed.

They called today and told Chris they hired the other guy. The elder said he did what he said he wouldn't do and hired someone without a family. Even though I think it was for the best, it still stings a bit. I guess no one likes rejection though.

One of my biggest problems was as we left Sunday evening they made it sound like the job is ours but that they had already invited the other guy to try out. The strange thing is is the deacon who had the biggest problem with us homeschooling never said a single word to me. It felt like he didn't want us there from the get-go. I think it is telling of the church when some of the women told Chris that Sunday that it was so nice to have our children there because it brought life back to the church.

Financially I honestly have no idea what we are going to do. Obviously Chris is also having a hard time finding a secular job. There are just not many jobs to be had. We have 1 more support check coming and then that is it. I have asked for more work, and have gotten a bit more, but no where near the money we need to get by on. So yeah, scary times ahead. We could use some prayers!

Suspicion has been confirmed

2010-07-08T18:20:00.000-07:00

Well, at least we are not just paranoid.

Chris talked to the elder that he tried out for a couple of weeks ago today. There are a couple of men that are hung up on...yup...us homeschooling. Which still honestly has me fuming.

I can understand if they wanted someone with more experience, someone who teaches/preaches better, or whatever the case may be. But homeschooling, seriously? Apparently they think we won't be involved in the community at all. Seriously, that's what he said. But you know what is even funnier...the other 2 people who have tried out, both are older, one has (from what I understand) children who are grown and out of the house and who won't be coming anyway, and the other has no children and is widowed. Yeah, makes no sense to me either.

It's not the elders fault, he really seems to want to hire Chris. They are still undecided though and we haven't been given a yes or a no. We are pretty sure who is having a problem with it. The same one who gave Chris trouble about us being qualified to teach them. Chris told me today this same gentleman also got on Chris in the meeting telling him our children need to learn sex ed by the age of 8. Not really sure what business it is of his on when we teach it or how that was even appropriate during an interview. And for the record, Faith would only be in 2nd grade when she is 8 if she were in public school. Sorry, but my child is not going to learn sex ed that early and there is no reason why she needs to know about any of that yet. I didn't start sex ed classes until 5th grade, and even then I was pretty clueless about what all was involved. I went to public school yet was completely and truly innocent when it came to that subject. I was fine with it, I grew up just fine, and I wasn't sheltered. So 8 years old, nope, not gonna happen. And if they were in public school I would opt my children out of the class anyway.

I went ahead and typed up a long letter to the elder explaining what all we have been involved in with the children and what we plan to be involved in, with sports and clubs and whatnot and asked that he shared the letter with the congregation. In it I explained the activities in our community that we have already been involved with as well as activities we hope to get the children involved in as they get older, and said it did depend on their interests as they grow. I asked that they not judge us based on preconceived notions nor on what they have known others to do, but to judge based on our own merits. Not sure it would help, but it made me feel better. Although, I know I said a lot of what was in that letter while I was there. But at least they have it in writing.

And just to add...I know most people don't know what all is involved with homeschooling. I have no problems with people asking about it (ok...depending on their tone! lol). I have already done over 2 years of research and know the most common preconceived notions. I have prepared myself for all of the ignorant comments that can be made and have prepared myself for what some may automatically think of us for homeschooling. I never once was prepared though that our decision to teach our children ourselves would ever prohibit my husband from getting a job.

But you know what, I'm ok with that. If he doesn't get the job because of that reason, it is definitely not a place we will want to be and a better job will come up!

I love Swagbucks

2010-06-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

You may, or may not, have noticed my sidebar with some Swagbucks information added to it. I was introduced to Swagbucks just a few weeks ago and I am so happy to have finally jumped on the bandwagon. Just by using their search engine, you have chances to win what are called Swagbucks. Usually I just win 2 or 3 times a day whenever I need to do a search. From what I understand, no matter how often you try to search, you will generally only win a few times a day. Usually anywhere from 7-12 bucks a time. But hey, it all adds up. I also qualify for surveys from time to time and I have won several hundred Swagbucks by doing these, which take about 20 minutes.

So in just 2 weeks of doing this, not spending much time at all, I have already accumulated and redeemed enough Swagbucks for 2 $5.00 giftcards for Amazon.com. For doing practically nothing. And hey, I am definitely one who likes free money! It's actually legit. You can redeem your swagbucks for a lot of other things, but I like to buy books on Amazon and so that is what I redeemed mine on. And I am already more than halfway to getting another one. This was honestly the only reason I even joined, was for the Amazon gift cards that my friends kept saying they were winning. And now, after a couple of weeks, I thought I would share it with you all too.

Want to join in the fun too and earn yourself some nice prizes. Just click here: SWAGBUCKS sign up, and start doing the normal searching you would use yahoo or any other search engine for.

Sorry to sound like an advertisement, but it really is nice to win giftcards for doing nothing so that I don't have to spend my own money on Amazon!

"The" phone call

2010-06-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

You know what I'm talking about when I say "The" phone call. You know...the one in which the person on the other line tells you you would be perfect for the job and can't wait for you to move there. Yup, that one. For the record, we are still waiting for that call.

We went to Kentucky for a tryout last weekend. Although it was quite difficult having 3 kids in 1 little hotel room, we had a wonderful time there. Everyone was just so nice and we really felt like we fit in there. Faith and Samantha totally hammed it up and walked around and talked to all the women, which is completely UN-Faith-Like. Faith even sat with one of the widows during the dinner they had for us, which was no where near where we were sitting. (And I would just like to add how amazing this woman was...she was 92, she was married for 63 years, she was still driving herself and was one spunky lady...and she seriously looked amazing for her age and would have never thought she was in her 90's).

After the dinner all the men gathered together to hammer Chris (ok ok, they were pretty easy on him). He said there was one question though that threw him off and made him a little mad. One of the men (who was older) asked if he really thought he was qualified to teach our children. It threw him off because it had absolutely nothing to do with the job and just with the way he said it. I tried to explain to Chris afterwards though that he will run into that quite a bit. Maybe I'm just already used to the snide comments about us homeschooling from people who really don't understand what it's about. Chris hasn't dealt with any of that yet. I tried to explain to him that we will run into that a lot, especially in smaller towns that just aren't used to anything other than public schooling. I told him to look at the town we came from and what his thoughts were on homeschooling before we had children.

Still though, everything we really well. From the comments everyone made to both he and I at separate times, it really sounded like they felt the same way we did. That they really wanted Chris to be the preacher there. The only thing was that they had already asked another guy to come this past Sunday to try out as well. He was an older gentleman, his wife was deceased, and he had no family. They made it sound like they were just having him try out since they had already asked him, but Chris was still "the one to beat" so to speak.

But it is now Monday afternoon and we still are waiting for "The" phone call. We both really thought we would have heard back from them this morning. With each passing hour we turn a little more pessimistic. We are trying to remain hopeful, but it's hard. Waiting is hard. Waiting is even harder when you are all but told you have the job, you just have to wait for the official word. Because you don't dare get your hopes up after being battered down by "the process".

So, I guess all I can say is you will hear when I hear.

List of things

2010-06-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to write, things have just been in overdrive lately. I thought things would slow down after last week, but I find myself trying to get caught up on things that have been put off for a long time.

First and foremost...Chris is DONE with school! He is no longer just a preaching student but is now an official preacher. An unemployed one, but one nonetheless. I don't think I have ever been more proud of him. It has definitely been a tough 2 years but he stuck with it.

Some more good news is he will be trying out for a congregation on Sunday. It's not north like we wanted, but if everything is right then that is better than going north into a church that isn't sound. We leave on Friday and I admit I'm a little nervous. It's our first tryout and I'm not sure what to expect.

I had my GTT this morning and got a call from my nurse this afternoon. Thankfully I PASSED!!! I am so glad I don't have to do the 3 hour GTT and even more happier that I don't have GD. Though it wasn't a big concern as I have never had it. I am, however, anemic, and have to go back on iron pills twice a day. I'm so bad at remembering to take pills.

Some really bad news is Chris's brother's health has not been good and he has been battling lung cancer. They thought everything was getting better. He got a call from his mom last night and she said that he now has more spots on his lungs, and has spots on his stomach and his pancreas as well. I had a feeling after she was down last weekend that things weren't good. She was telling me that he hasn't been wanting to eat and is down to 108 pounds. I didn't tell her what I was thinking, but I was hoping I was wrong. Things are not looking good at all. I am so worried about his mom. This will be the 2nd son she will have to bury, if he isn't able to fight it. It will also be the 2nd family member who she will have to watch succumb to cancer. The first being her husband, who died of bone cancer the day after Chris and I were married (like just past midnight that next day). What makes it even harder is that he is still not right with God. Chris is going to try to talk with him again to get him to come back, but every attempt he has made so far has been shot down. He could definitely use some prayers.

4

2010-05-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

That would be the number we are now up to of churches that have wanted Chris to come out to try out. That would also be the number of churches Chris has had to say no thank you too because they were not sound. Not only were they not sound, they were not sound on the exact same issue. Number 4 was tonight, which was the church we happened across that I mentioned a few posts below.

Moving up north doesn't look like it will be happening.

What's even more frustrating is it has all been on the same issue. It wouldn't be quite so frustrating if we could just talk to/try out for a sound church at some point. Right now it's not feeling like there are any out there, well that are hiring at least.

2 would be the number of churches that have recently emailed him back to let him know that they received his information but that they had a huge response to the job ad and so it will take a little while to go through. Which I'm sure when you have had that many people apply that someone fresh out of school with no full time experience will be real high on the list.

It's not looking like we will be going anywhere anytime soon.

Now the question is...how do you fit 6 people in a 2 bedroom, apartment? And yes that thought makes me want to cry. I can't even tell you how bad I want out of here.

Another one bites the dust

2010-05-13T19:37:00.001-07:00

We were close. So very close. To getting a try-out that is. A church called and told Chris they wanted him to come try out. I thought it was kind of strange that they wanted to take the time and money to fly him out without talking with him more. Luckily Chris started asking some questions. Let's just say I'm finding our hopes of going north to be just that, hopes. I can't believe we are having such a hard time finding a conservative congregation.

I told Chris there is some good news to this though. At least someone wanted him to come tryout! At least he finally got some kind of answer. Hopefully now that he is closer to graduating we will hear more back from people. And yes, he did decline to go out there to tryout.

I did find out something about myself today though. I have realized that I am indeed afraid to fly. Well, sort of. You see, the church obviously wouldn't have been able to fly us all out and were just going to fly out Chris and I (and I would have taken Elijah since he flies free). Just thinking about that though seriously made me start freaking out a bit. Chris and I, together, on a flight. IF something were to happen with us on the plane and our children not...ugh, I think I will start crying again. I know I have talked about it before but since we have no one in our family who we would trust to raise our children in the Lord, it is a huge HUGE fear of mine that Chris and I would both die. HUGE. But I guess that is another post in itself.

Oh, and this was a different church than I had mentioned in my last post. Don't want any confusion there.

To sign or not to sign, that is the question

2010-05-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

It's that time...time to deal with our lease. Something we were dreading if he didn't have a job by now. Our lease is up at the end of July and they want our lease renewal, like now. Apparently you have to give a 60-day notice if you are moving. I never noticed that before. So by June 1st we have to give notice if we will be moving. I told Chris though that if we have to tell them by June 1st if we are moving, then we don't have to have our lease in until then as well. We are going to hold off and see what the next few weeks bring.

Here's our options. We can sign another year lease, and then if we end up having to move before the end of that year (which I certainly hope we do!) then we have to pay 2 months rent for breaking it. We also have the option of renting month-to-month and only having to give a 30-day notice. The downside to that is our rent would go up $75 a month. If Chris doesn't have a preaching job and has to find a secular job, 75 bucks is huge, because we will be broke. So we aren't sure what to do.

Chris at least got a phone call today, which was encouraging. They let him know that they got his stuff and were impressed by it and that they would be meeting tomorrow to discuss it. They said they would give him a call back. They also apologized for the lack of communication. He just sent his stuff off to them at the beginning of the week! If they call THAT a lack of communication then that has to be a good sign! Our experience has been most people don't send anything back or call, at least until a month later. We don't know much about the position though so it is still way up in the air. We don't know if they are sound, what they pay is, what their expectation are, nothing. Guess first we will see if they are interested in going any farther.

It's kind of interesting how we came about the position. Chris saw an ad somewhere for a congregation up north looking for a preacher. He applied for it but didn't know how old the ad was. Turns out the ad was really old...like 2 years old...and the position was obviously filled. The guy who contacted him back said Chris sounded like a sound preacher though and would let us know if something happened to their preacher (their preacher has ads out that he is looking to move back down south). A few days later though he sent Chris an email and told him that his aunt and uncle were just at his house visiting and said they had just let their preacher go and were looking. The guy then sent Chris's stuff on to them, which is how the ball got rolling. I know we would be happy in the area it is in as it is a beautiful area, and up north like we wanted, it just depends on a lot of things. They had apparently JUST let their preacher go and were just starting to the process going, and don't even have it advertised yet. Still though, if they have already called him and they are meeting about it tomorrow, hopefully we will hear something within the week one way or another. Fingers crossed!!!

Homeschooling

2010-04-23T17:55:00.000-07:00

Our homeschooling is going great so far. Faith's reading is really picking up and she is learning more and more. Just seeing the look on her face when she reads a whole sentence is just priceless. With Samantha she is still working on letter sounds. She is really doing good too. She is actually younger than Faith was when I started with her, but she really wants to be included with the reading. I just don't push it with her and we just do a little bit a day.

We have really been picking up our nature studies since spring has hit and we have been learning about different insects.

And we are of course still doing our daily devotionals. I am amazed at how easily Faith remembers her memory verses. She still remembers verses we did last month.

I couldn't be happier at our decision to homeschool. It is so much fun to be able to teach the girls and watch their faces as they learn different things, and then seeing how well they recall the information later on in the day or even a few days later. It has been such a great experience, and we haven't even "officially" started yet!

Since Faith doesn't turn 5 until October we don't have to officially start until next September. She is more than ready now though and so come August I am going to start her on a kindergarten curriculum. She is going to be starting on the Heart of Dakota program and I am going to supplement what we do and learn with books from the library and with our little field trips. I want to keep it fun and light and don't want to do a "traditional" classroom learning style. I have been really impressed with the Charlotte Mason style and will continue to do my research there. While we are using a curriculum to keep me more on track, help with different ideas, and give me some kind of structure, I want them to really learn a lot from reading books and from being outside.

It's funny but even now I can tell a huge difference in the girls' attitudes when we start letting up on the learning (like when I was in the 1T). They just absolutely love learning!

21 weeks

2010-04-23T17:50:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe today I am 21 weeks. There are times I get so busy with the kiddos that I forget I'm even pregnant. Today I had my "big" ultrasound and everything looks wonderful so far. The baby is right on target and luckily it was a 3-vessel cord instead of a 2-vessel cord like last time. That means I won't have any extra appointments! I think I would have a nervous breakdown if I had to go back to 2 appointments a week for the next 19 weeks. I feel I can actually take it easy this time and I really think that will help with the stress level. I was a mess during Elijah's pregnancy because I was having to go in twice a week for monitoring and the girls weren't allowed in the specialist office. It was really difficult trying to set things up so someone was here when I had to go in. So yeah, HUGE relief!

So you are probably wondering what this little one will be...

...It's a baby! lol Sorry guys, didn't find out the sex! We will find out in about 19 weeks. =)

I'm never going back to church again

2010-04-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

That's how it feels anyway.

All fevers were broke. Some still have a bit of a cough, but the girl's had really calmed down, for Elijah is mainly just his nose running so I was going to keep him with my in class. I am still coughing with the Bronchitis, but with some medicines it has calmed down a lot.

It was about 9:00 pm and I was going to get some clothes ready for the kids to wear to church tomorrow. I went in Faith and Samantha's room, was just giving some extra kisses while they were sleeping and was pulling their blankets back on. Kissed Faith on the forehead and what do I feel next? Why, she was burning up of course.

Seems it has come full circle and we are starting back at the beginning.

Church is off, again. I haven't been in 3 weeks. I was really looking forward to traveling with Chris tomorrow to a place he was preaching at. He preached there last week but we haven't been yet. I enjoy going to new places. Looks like instead I will be staying home. Again.

It's also going to be a beautiful week. In the 70's, either sunny or only partly cloudy. We haven't been anywhere in 2 weeks because someone has been sick. We WERE going to get out this week, even if it wasn't anything too big. Just going to the nature center to spend some time outdoors, anything. Nope. Looks like we will be home all week, again.

I want to go and have some fun with my babies. I want us all to enjoy our time outside like we usually do. I want my babies healthy again. What in the world is going on in our house?

The sickies

2010-04-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

We are just full of the sickies here. Last weekend Faith came down with a cold. She wasn't too bad but was coughing for a few days. Then last Wednesday Samantha had a fever but nothing else. At nighttime she would cough, but during the day she was just sick with a fever. She still had a fever on Friday and so off to the doctor we went. Everything looked good with her, but since it is so hard to get a little child to breath in and out while the doctor checks their lungs, the doctor couldn't tell if she heard any rattling or not. So, off to x-ray we went. Samantha was really scared since I couldn't stay in there with her since I'm pregnant, but she could still see me behind the wall. She really listened to the guy and did exactly what he asked her to do. Then we walked back to the doctors office (can I just say I LOVE having this all in the same building!). The doc came in and said she had pneumonia but she didn't know if it was the contagious type. Luckily she seems to be doing much better. She was put on meds, her fever broke, which is when she would have been contagious, but she will have a cough for the next couple of weeks while it all breaks up.

Then, on Saturday Elijah got sick. He hasn't had a constant fever like Samantha did and so it seems as though it is just a nasty cold. His nose is like a faucet and he is really stopped up, just in the last few days he started with a bad cough. Since he isn't able to breath well he isn't sleeping well, AT ALL. With being coughed on, sneezed on, wiping everyone's noses 50 times a day, and then not getting any sleep taking care of Elijah I was just waiting for it to hit me. Since I'm pregnant I couldn't take any precautionary meds like I normally would (can I just say I absolutely LOVE Cold-Ez. Man does that stuff work good to shorten a cold, and it's just like a cough drop). Yesterday it finally hit me. I woke up and it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. As the day went on, I started coughing more, and then my whole body started to ache. I have had a fever but luckily it has been a really low-grade one. Still, it's hard to take are of kiddos, 1 still being really sick, when you are feeling like poo yourself. All I wanted to do was get some rest last night, but alas Elijah wasn't sleeping well and I was up most of the night with him.

Since Chris knows I would never ask him to stay home from school, he made sure to tell me to let me know if I needed him home, that it would be all right, and to not push myself. I'm doing so-so right now so I told him to go ahead and go but I'm guessing as the day goes on the worse I will get again as I start getting wore out. I told him I would probably give him a call sometime today then and have him come home, as much as I hate to do that.

So, needless to say it's been a fun week. Usually the kids will pick up a cold here and there but they are generally very healthy kids. In fact, when I brought Sam to the ped we have have been using since Elijah was born, they hadn't ever seen her. And that's been over a year. I think the last time she was at the doctor was for a well check visit when she was 18 months, since she turned 2 right after Elijah was born. Faith hasn't been in to see her either and I don't remember the last time I've had to bring her in to a doctor for being sick. I am definitely very fortunate! Once everyone gets better I'm going to be bring Faith and Samantha in for well-checks though. I didn't want to bring Faith in right when she turned 4 because all of the flu stuff going around over the winter. I knew she wouldn't need shots and so I thought we would put it off until this spring.

The story

2010-03-31T16:43:00.000-07:00

Guess I should explain.

We pretty much had the job. There was just one little problem. Ok, not so little. Their stance on marriage/divorce/remarriage was different than ours, which is a pretty big deal. Not so much that you can divorce and remarry under any reason under the sun, but they thought that if you were divorced for any reason other than your spouse cheating and you were remarried, and then you became a Christian, then that relationship is suddenly ok and you are free to stay in that current marriage. Chris equates it to stealing a sports car before you are a Christian, then at a later time you become a Christian, is it still right to keep that car that you stole before you became a Christian, or is it ok for you to keep it since you are now free from that sin?

Unfortunately this is a big deal for us because we have been through a congregation that differed on opinions on this topic. Only it was a prominent member trying to teach that you can divorce and remarry for any reason. Still, we saw the damage it does and the struggles when the preacher is on different terms with other members regarding this. Every other thing they agreed on, just not this one.

The good news, if there is any to be had, is that the elder did say that he is willing to sit and do a Bible study and study this topic more. He explained that that was the decision they had come to just doing their own private study between the 3 elders and that he knows they aren't perfect. Chris is going to talk to one of his teachers to see if he would mind doing the study over the phone with them. I don't know if it will do any good, but we feel we at least need to try. Not for a job, but for the congregation.

So, for my own sanity I have shut the door. I can't keep that hope in there that they may, at some point in the next few months, change their minds on this topic. Tuesday was hard. I cried, a lot, all day long. I had mentally and emotionally seen us raising our family there. That is a hard thing to get over. Especially since they didn't say no. His response was that he thinks WE would have a problem coming there, since Chris talked about the previous congregation during his interview.

It's also hard because there haven't been many jobs being posted. And we are at just about the 2 month mark. Seeing how long it took us to get this far with that congregation, I have zero hope that we will be able to find something in the next 2 months. In 2 months we will have no income coming in. In 5 months we will be welcoming our 4th child. If we still haven't found a preaching job by the time this little one comes into the world, we will be a family of 6 in a small, 2 bedroom apartment. Chris said we would have to find a house to rent. I told him financially that would be impossible. Rent would be higher and we would be responsible for the water/trash/sewer bill as well as the internet bill (I do very part-time work from home). Cable would obviously be a no-go. All of this is included in our apartment rent. And we would be doing this on less income than we are bringing in now.

It just stinks because this was where we really wanted to go. And we had the job. And it's just really hard to just get over. I am thankful though that we found out about this before we moved there. That is a huge blessing. What I need to keep in mind and keep reminding myself is that God is in control and He WILL take care of us. My feelings keep going back and forth between peace at knowing He is taking care of us and panic when I start letting my own worries get the best of me. It's a struggle for me, to be honest.

It's just scary not having a single prospect.

Comments

2010-03-31T08:48:00.000-07:00

Apparently my comments section hasn't worked for quite some time. Not sure why. It should be working now though.

When something seems too good to be true....

2010-03-31T06:06:00.001-07:00

...it usually is.

=(

Nervous energy...

2010-03-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

Does wonders for a house. We have been expecting a call, or hoping to get one soon I should say. I could have killed Chris though when I got home from my preachers wife classes last night to see his ringer turned off, in the basket, and that he had missed a call. Sure enough it was the call we have been waiting for. The guy said he would call back later as he was having to turn off his phone. So yeah, lots of nervous energy while we just waited around for the return call. My house is now really clean though! Although Chris had a really hard time concentrating on studying for his final today. Needless to say, that return call never came last night. Frustrating and disappointing...um, yeah.

Now today I find myself kind of twiddling my thumbs, which is why I am finally getting to blog! My house is clean. I am caught up from all of my work. The notes for Chris that I have to type up were done Wednesday. I do wish I could take a nap though. Little mister thing had ideas other than sleeping last night. Well, other than sleeping in his own bed. He slept great when I brought him to mine. Me, on the other hand, did not. I sleep terrible when there is a wee one in bed with us. I tried to put him back to bed every hour or so but nonetheless he would always wake up before his little body touched his bed. I looked this morning to see if he was teething, as this is how he acts when he teethes, but I didn't see anything that looked suspicious.

Well, talking about suspicious, I smell something a little suspicious. Guess I now having something to do! Nothing like changing diapers to start off the day's fun! =)

Debbie Downer

2010-03-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

That's what I feel like today.

Chris was asked some more questions from one of the elders who interviewed him. I don't know why, but all of a sudden I had a feeling that he wasn't going to get that job. Which is fine, really, if their are scriptural problems. I would much rather find out now than after we get there.

Still, just doesn't feel like it will work out and there is really no reason for it.

Maybe it's the fact that I've been dealing with this crummy pregnancy insomnia. I mean, I've been awake since 3:45 am today.

Maybe its the weather because it got so cold again and because it's raining.

Hopefully it's all my imagination.

First interview

2010-03-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

Well, Chris had his first phone interview on Monday! It was with the place we really want to go to so he was really nervous. The elder said the call wouldn't last long but he was on with them for an hour, and it would have been longer but their battery was going dead. It was so nice to finally get started instead of just wondering when they will start the hiring process. Now, we just wait. The hardest part is over. At least the hardest part of the wait for me. They said they would let us know soon if they want us to come up to try-out but I have learned that "soon" could be a month or more. Hopefully we will hear in a few weeks.

Chris is the only one they interviewed and so we are hoping it will speed things up a bit. There have been other applicants but we were told they just weren't what they were looking for. We want to think that they really want to hire Chris but just need to go through the process, but then we don't want to get our hopes up either. It would really be an amazing opportunity though. It's in a community and area that we love, the people are so nice and friendly (not just in the church but in the area), they are offering a home, utilities, health insurance, and still a nice salary, they are a sound congregation and have elders. I'm HOPING they will talk about it tonight on when/if they want Chris to come up but I think that is wishful thinking. I know their elders meetings are on Monday evenings so maybe we will hear by next Tuesday. Or maybe next month. lol

Like I said, just wait and see!

Time doesn't slow down

2010-03-17T06:10:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been MIA. I didn't realize it had been this long. There has just been so much going on in the last few weeks, and couple that with a complete lack of motivation to blog, and before you know it time gets away from me.

On March 6th my sweet little Elijah turned 1 year old. It is so incredibly hard to believe that a year has gone by. I wish we could have spent it with just me, Chris, the girls, and Elijah but my family all made plans to come here. It was not without it's stresses let me tell you and my mom never ceases to surprise me. But alas, the party went on, I fed a heard of people many meals, and on Sunday everyone finally went home. Elijah had a lot of fun though and the girls just loved playing with their cousins. One thing I don't understand though is when people ask you what to get them for birthdays, you tell them what you need and what you don't need (toys) and they go out and buy toys anyway. I understand sometimes pj's or summer clothes aren't the most exciting things to buy but it's what he really needed. Instead, every single person bought toys. If you want to buy something more fun or if you just want to buy toys, then don't ask me what to get! Sorry, it was just frustrating.

Elijah's 8th tooth popped through the day before his birthday which definitely put him way up ahead in the tooth category from his sisters at that age. He has been walking for over a month now and rarely crawls. And just watching him learn and grow is so amazing. He figures things out so quickly just by watching you once. He saw me unlock the safe yesterday to get something. Later that evening I let him have the keys to play with and he went right into our room, pulled out the safe, and tried putting the key in. It's funny how the smallest things amaze me with these kiddos. He already takes direction really well too. I can hand hims something and tell him to take it to daddy, who is in the other room, and he will actually do it. He doesn't say a lot yet. He says dada, hi dad, and book. That's right folks, he will NOT say mama! It drives me batty. I say mama to him, he says dada back to me. He is such a daddy's little boy. None of the girls were that attached to him at this age, though they are now. Up until they were a year and a half they would always go to me over him. Elijah will actually leave me to go to daddy. It is really sweet to see.

At his 1 year check up he was 20 lbs, 14 oz which put him in the 25th percentile and was 30 1/2 inches, putting him in the 75th. I was really shocked he wasn't heavier. He looks like such a chunk. And then add to it that he is tall, he should look even thinner. Guess him being tall explains why he has already outgrown some of his 12 month clothes. I think most of it right now is in his torso because it's his shirts and onesies that don't all fit.

Hard to believe but Samantha will be 3 on March 26th. Every time I'm out with both girls now I have at least 1 person ask me if they are twins. They are getting really close in size. Faith has had a growing stoppage and Samantha hit a growth spurt. Though Faith has been complaining about her legs hurting so I think she is going to sprout back up again.

And the newest little one? I will be 16 weeks on Wednesday. I have never hit that infamous 2T energy burst, but I guess what can you expect with 3 other little ones! The morning sickness luckily went away though just past 13 weeks, and just in time for Elijah's birthday. And the best part? Last night, in the wee hours of the morning, I finally felt the baby kick. It is such a glorious feeling and one of the best part of being pregnant. I can be sick, achy, tired, and just plain miserable, but to feel your baby moving and kicking inside of you is just such a surreal feeling. My next appointment will be at 17 weeks but I won't have an ultrasound until the appointment after that, when I will be 21 weeks. I don't think I want to find out the sex though. I'm going to try to see if there is a place I can go besides the maternal specialist for it because they don't allow children back in the ultrasound room. I really really want the girls especially to be apart of it. And, if they can't come, Chris will have to stay home with them.

So, that's the update on the kiddos!

(And yes, that would be a pink hat on Elijah. He loves this thing and I figured it would be great for blackmail when he gets older. Chris said that's it, we are finding him a cowboy hat!)

Goodbye 1st Trimester!

2010-02-26T06:38:00.000-08:00

Today I am officially out of the first trimester. I also go to see my OB today. Am I nervous? Uh YEAH! I always hate my appointments during the 1T. I have no reason to be nervous, but you just never know. Maybe something did happen to the baby and my body just isn't registering it yet. I've known plenty of women who went into an appointment thinking everything was fine and dandy and then boom, they can't find the heartbeat. You would think after having 3 beautiful, healthy children that the fears would go away. Not so much. My appointment isn't until 1:00 too so lots of time to think about it. At least I'm bringing the girls to a gym to play with some of their friends though. That will hopefully take my mind off of it.

My morning sickness has started going away which I am so thankful for. I still don't feel great for about 30 min in the morning and I'm still feeling bad later at night when I start getting really tired (about 9pm) but that is a walk in the park compared to how I've felt the last 8 weeks. I have so much cleaning to do in this apartment now though. It's been pretty neglected the last 8 weeks and I've been doing just enough to get by. Yesterday I got the kitchen scrubbed pretty good, except the fridge and the floors. Today I won't be able to get much done.

Granted I have pretty good motivation. I have family coming over next weekend for Elijah's first birthday. I'm trying to do a little bit each day. Our bathrooms need a major cleaning, floors need to be washed, fridge needs to be cleaned, things need to be dusted, food needs to be made. Ugh! Not sure if I'm feeling THAT much better yet.

Still waiting

2010-02-24T06:19:00.000-08:00

It has been almost 4 months since the church we really want to go to contacted us to let us know their preaching position would be open. We are still no closer to finding out anything. He wrote us at the beginning of February and let Chris know that he would be contacting us soon as they wanted to set up a phone interview for this month or the beginning of next. After 3 weeks Chris finally emailed to let them know this week would work great as he is out of classes. He just wrote back to let him know that they aren't quite ready yet. I'm really really working on my patience as I know it is a weakness of mine but I just don't get it. How are they not even ready for a phone interview yet, after 4 months? The elder has said it will be just a quick call to just talk about basic doctrinal questions. I could understand more if they weren't ready for him to come up there yet to tryout. But not even ready for a phone interview? It's just so incredibly frustrating. It is so hard to be patient when I have thought about this place literally every day since they day he told us they would be hiring. It's just driving me nuts!

We are getting down to about 3 months until Chris graduates too. Time is ticking by and it is so scary to think about him not having a job by the time he graduates. I mean, come September we will be a family of 6. I don't even think it's legal to have 6 people living in a 2 bedroom apartment and if he doesn't have a job we can't afford to rent a house.

So yeah, just lots of emotions and restless nights. I am just ready to be done with it all ready. I'm just ready to know something instead of being in this limbo land. I know it will all fall into place. I do. Just sometimes the worries come through. And like I said above, right now it is just more about the frustration.

We know we have a huge advantage. We also know that as of right now Chris is the only applicant. And they haven't put the ad up anywhere besides their church page, and it isn't even on the first page, you have to click through some things. Just makes me want to scream JUST HIRE HIM ALL READY!!! lol

Patience, patience, patience, and trusting God. That's what it all boils down to.

Down to 1 car.

2010-02-13T06:02:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, while we were getting some snow, Chris had to run to Wal-mart to pick up a few things. He just drives a little GEO Metro. As he was on his way home there was a firetruck going through the intersection, very slowly, and he didn't see it until it was too late. He was going less than 25 MPH because the roads were terrible but when he hit his brakes they locked up and he went skidding and ended up clipping the back end of the firetruck. Shouldn't have been a big deal at all but it tore the front-side of his car up. It definitely made me think about how much worse it could have been if he was going faster. The car is like a little tin box and if that little of an accident ripped the front end apart what would have happened in a slightly worse situation. Makes me shudder.

(if you look close, that is his front panel that is wrapped around the tire)

Oh, and he got a ticket for failure to control his vehicle. That's the part that really gets me. If the city would actually do their job and keep the major roads cleaned off it wouldn't have been an issue. He stopped in plenty of time, he just doesn't have anti-lock breaks and with the road conditions the way the were, it was really slick. Isn't there such a thing as a no-fault accident anymore or have our cities just become so greedy that they will write out a ticket for everything? I told Chris now I understood why they didn't clean the roads off right away. Personally I think they hope for accidents during this time so they CAN make money off of tickets.

Anyway. We have been down to 1 car for the last few weeks and boy does it stink! Not that I have really felt like going anywhere and not like the weather has been nice, but still when you have no other option but to stay home it's not so much fun. We called the Credit Union we have belong too for many many years, but they don't consider the income we bring in through the churches while Chris is at school to be verifiable income, and so they don't count it. Even though we have had loans through them pretty steadily for the last 6 years, and currently have our van payments through them, and I have never been late, they would not give us a loan. He was talking with one of his instructors who told him to try a certain place as he knew the guy and he would give us a loan. Chris went there yesterday and found a pretty decent little $2,000 car. Needless to say, he said the same thing about our income and wouldn't finance us. We would have only needed financing for $1,000 of it but it was a no-go. Once our taxes come in we would have the extra money, but Chris said the way the car was he doubted it would still be there even in just a few days. What a huge bummer! I hate being without a car, especially once the weather turns nice and we want to get out and about.

I told Chris though that I was thankful it was his car he got in an accident in and not the van. Had it been the van we really would have been in trouble. So, while inconvenient and takes a bit getting used to, I feel very blessed that 1) no one was hurt and 2) it wasn't the van.

It is kind of sad though. He bought that car for just $600 about 4 years ago and we never had any major problems with it. When something had to be replaced the parts were always cheap. It will be going to a good home though. He is giving it to his nephew so he can work on it as time goes on and eventually be able to drive it.

New Layout

2010-02-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the heads up on my layout! It worked just fine on my PC but when I checked on the Mac it was completely messed up.

The downside to changing templates? It completely wiped out my blog list. =( I was able to go threw and find some of them, some of them I have saved, but I just always went to my blog list and didn't save them all to my computer. I know there are a few I am missing but I can't find them anywhere. So...if you were once on my blog list and now are not, please let me know so I can re-add you!

I seriously need to update the pictures of the kiddos on the side, and I noticed I haven't updated Eli's growing stats in, well, a long time. Details, details, details. Someday I will have the time.

On the job front

2010-02-09T06:40:00.000-08:00

Well we had quite the surprise email when we got home from traveling on Sunday afternoon. There was an email from one of the elders at the place we really want to go to saying they are ready to talk with Chris sometime this month or the beginning of next month. I had just talked with him last week and he said they really hadn't gotten much further in being ready to interview. Since it has all ready been 3 months, I was expecting it to take at least another month or two. It was so great to hear that we are finally going to be moving forward on this and have some plan for an interview. Just to know one way or another on if he gets it will be so much better than this limbo we have been in.

AND we also just found out they also have a house for the preacher. We didn't know that before so that is a huge plus! Fingers crossed we will get the phone interview scheduled soon!

Looking back

2010-02-05T11:27:00.000-08:00

I took this picture for a card I was making for Chris for Father's Day in 2008. He still has it hanging up on his wall in front of the computer. Above the picture it has Forever Your Little Girls. Chris told me awhile ago what the picture and caption means to him and ever since when I look at it it makes me tear up. He said it makes him think that even as they walk away, into life, they will always be his little girls. When I took it I just thought it was cute and he put a beautiful meaning into.

Laundry Detergent

2010-02-05T06:59:00.000-08:00

Can I just say that I am so thankful that I discovered the world of homemade laundry detergent. I can't even put a cost on how much money this has saved us. We were spending a TON just in detergent. I do, on average, 4 loads of laundry A DAY. Especially during the winter when we wear more sweats since they take up so much room. And I was surprised at how well it really does work. I have been making about 5 bottles of liquid detergent at a time and it costs me less than a dollar total. I've just about used up all that I have made right now and so next time I am going to try to make my own powder detergent and see how well that works.

I just love being able to save some money especially when it is on something so simple to make!

Sick and tired

2010-02-02T12:30:00.001-08:00

I'm tired of being sick and sick of being tired. Sigh. It has been a rough 4 weeks and I shudder to think I still have 3+ more weeks of this.

My house is a disaster. I do what is absolutely necessary each day but don't have the energy beyond that. The exhaustion hits me like a bag of bricks. And of course Elijah and the girls are on completely opposite napping schedules since Eli still has 2 naps a day. So...that means no naps and no resting for me.

Yesterday was especially rough. I woke up throwing up and felt terrible the rest of the day. Today has been better, though I still don't feel great.

And I hate throwing up.

I just can't wait until I am done with the 1T and I hopefully will no longer be sick.

Breaking friendships -definitely not on the fun list

2010-02-01T11:45:00.001-08:00

I have been friends with this guy for the better part of 16 years. We met when we were freshman in high school and stayed in touch even after I moved to Texas just a few months later. He is one of the only people I have stayed in touch with. We just talk on the phone from time to time and drop notes here and there. We don't usually see each other though. I use to work out with his mom and keep in touch with his twin brother and his older sister. When he got out of the marines and was in the same town I was, I would go over to his parents house from time to time for game night. I never thought anything about it.

He just told me the other day that he just found out his wife had been cheating on him for some time. I had a feeling from the last time I talked to him though when he was saying she was going out at night a lot. In this same letter, in one sentence, made a comment about us that was completely inappropriate and made me really uncomfortable. I still haven't wrote him back, though I really need to, to address it. I got it on Saturday night, kept it to myself just to let it all soak in and try to figure out what I needed to do, and then on Sunday I shared this note with Chris. I felt it was something he needed to see. I then talked to him about what I thought was best, and he agreed. Though he did say he may not have meant it like I took it and to double check. I've known him for 16 years though. I 99.9% sure what he meant was was he wrote. And I told Chris I don't and won't feel comfortable at all in keeping our friendship up with what he shared with me.

I still have to figure out how to write it explain it all to him though. I'm shocked and hurt. 16 years is a long time to have to end a friendship.

The word is out

2010-01-25T18:50:00.001-08:00

Now, of course I'm wishing I could take it back because I'm not out of the 1T yet. What was I thinking? Just because I had a good u/s doesn't mean it will continue. I just hope I didn't jinx it.

I called my mom and told her tonight. It wasn't the most positive call. When I told her, her first sentence out was, "this better be the last one". Wow, thanks mom. She then quickly changed the subject. I never got a congratulations or any kind of positive reaction from her. Then again, should I really be all that surprised seeing what she pulled when Elijah was born. Still, it stings.

The rest of my family was excited. I know 4 is pretty unconventional these days, but it just feels right for us. We had always hoped for a bigger family, never thinking we would have it. And then 1 by 1, we were blessed with a precious child.

Just a little bit of news

2010-01-22T18:22:00.000-08:00

There has been something that I have wanted to share for some time now, I just wasn't quite comfortable yet. Today, however, things have been confirmed and so I definitely feel better with people knowing. What is this news you ask? Well, contrary to what Chris and I's "plan" was, God had different ones. We will be welcoming baby #4 around September 3rd! Surprised? I sure know we were. I actually found out on Christmas Eve and I told Chris on Christmas Day. On Christmas Eve we had gotten back from a couple of days of visiting family. I knew from the way I felt that I would be starting soon so made sure I had plenty of supplies. I didn't think about it again until after we were home and I was unpacking. I pulled out the pads and all of a sudden I just had a feeling. All I had in the house were OPK's from when we were trying with Elijah. I knew that they turn positive (test line as dark as the control line) when you are pregnant. Well, that was positive. So I quickly ran to the store to buy a real pregnancy test, which also quickly came up positive. Since we weren't trying I wasn't keeping track of my cycles and wasn't even sure how far along I was. I tried using Thanksgiving as a guide and took a guess. Turns out, from my ultrasound today, I was spot on. I am 8 weeks today.

When I say it wasn't our plan, I just mean we weren't going to start trying again until after Chris was done with school and had a job. We were hoping for 4, just wasn't expecting it this soon. Definitely raises the stress about finding a job. I mean, I can't (or don't) want to imagine us still having to be here, in this small apartment, with another baby. We are already crammed to the gills. 5 people in a 2 bedroom apartment is crowded. 6 people, I don't even know what we would do. I know if Chris doesn't find a preaching job, he will be able to get work doing something until he does. We could definitely use some prayers though that he will find a preaching job and we will get settled before this baby comes along.

And how I am feeling? Sick, sick, sick. All day long. It started right at 6 weeks, so I guess I should be thankful that I didn't get it at 4 weeks like I normally do. But I feel bad, and I have really felt like I have been doing a terrible job with Faith, Samantha, and Elijah in the last few weeks. I just hope it doesn't last too long and we can get back into our routine.

He's taking steps!

2010-01-12T11:53:00.000-08:00

On Sunday morning, before we were about to head out the door for church, Elijah took his first step all by himself. He let go of the ottoman, took a step, and then took hold of the couch. Today, he let go of the couch, just stood there for a minute, took one step, took another step, and then let himself down to crawl.

Sigh, my baby is getting so big!

I know, I know, it's about time

2010-01-08T11:27:00.000-08:00

The bad part about waiting so long to write is because there is so much to talk about that I can never get it all out. Chris was home for a couple of weeks, and we unfortunately now are having to share a computer. Since his homework is a wee bit more important than me blogging, he trump me at time at the computer.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. We certainly did and had a wonderful time spending time together as a family once more. While Chris still had things to work on for school, we still had him here. During the school week he is gone all day at school, then comes home and spends the rest of the night on school work and we only see him during dinner. It was hard having him go back to school after the New Year but we know he just 5 months away from being done. We still have no word on the job we are both really hoping he gets. Well, that's not entirely true. We hear back from one of the elders every few weeks, but the word is always the same. The are still working on getting the preachers expectations set. It has been 2 months since the elder first told us their preacher was leaving and it doesn't feel like we are any closer to being set to interview. Although, I'm still not sure WHY they need to interview him. They have known us for a couple of years and they heard Chris preach this summer. All schematics I suppose. I just wish we would know something. Otherwise, there has not been much at all posted for a job up north. Everything I have seen has been for the south.

Elijah, as of Wednesday, is 10 months old. It's hard to imagine just where the time has gone. It is so hard to believe I am having to think about his 1st birthday already. He had an appointment in the middle of December and he was 29 1/4 inches long (75th percentile) and weighed 19 lbs 8 oz (25th percentile). I was shocked at the weight and thought he was much heavier. I weighed him a few days before that and he was almost 21 pounds. He is growing amazingly though. He will walk if you are holding onto his hands, and has started letting go of items and standing but just won't take that first unassisted step.

Faith and Samantha are both doing good as well. They finished up their skating in Dec and we have been on a much needed break for a month. They will both be starting up next week. I put them both on the same day this time though. It will be a lot of work for me to get them both ready to be on the ice at the same time, but it will be so much better on me not having another day to run around. They are both so very good with their brother and have really started including him whenever the can. I'm so proud to see how they take care of him. We have been really working on being consistent, particularly when it came to cleaning. I would always start having them help, but then just get too impatient and do it myself. Well, I finally slowed down and had them do things from start to finish. While it took more time in the beginning, it has been a huge help to me as I am no longer picking up their things all day long.

I am still working with Faith on reading and she is really coming along. She is so happy when she sounds out the words and gets them right. Some days she will ask to get her phonics book out and work on it herself. I say absolutely and am always listening to hear how she does. Samantha sees Faith working on her phonics book and has also wanted to start. I'm just working with her right now on her vowels as she gets tired of it all pretty quickly and wants to go play.

I am in the middle of reading the Charolette Mason Companion and have found it to be a wonderful resource. A lot of what is taught is who I envisioned teaching the kids. It won't be exactly the same, but I have gleaned some great ideas and will definitely be using it as a resource. Right now we are still just working on Faith's phonics, a little bit of writing, and daily devotional. Otherwise all we do right now is just in play. I am always on the lookout though for books at the used book store that we will eventually be able to use. With Samantha I am just still working with her on her alphabet sounds and what the numbers look like. She can count to 20 on her own, I'm just helping her to recognize the numbers by sight.

So, I guess that get's us caught up a bit. Really though, I need to get so much better at this!

Materialism and Christmas

2009-12-09T06:17:00.000-08:00

Chris absolutely loves anything electronics. He always has. If he ever has any extra money, or gets money for his birthday, he buys something having to do with it. I never really got it before. There has never been anything that I felt compelled to spend my money on. That is, before I had children.

Now, if I have any extra money, I spend it on them. Usually nothing big, an outfit here or there. But it almost always goes to them.

So now, with Christmas upon us, I have been trying very hard not to fall into the trap of materialism. To not spend money on toys and things that really, they absolutely don't need. We don't have the room for it and they really don't need more toys. Granted, most of the toys they currently have were from birthday presents and Christmas presents from family. There are so many things that I see at stores and just think what a great present it would make and how much they would love it. And around Christmas I almost feel into the trap. Almost.

You see, I see family members who buy their children all this stuff for Christmas. It always starts off small, and then the bigger they get, the more expensive presents they have to buy. Their children just expect it. They expect their parents to spend hundreds of dollars on them.

I don't want to fall into that. I don't want to make Christmas into something that causes us to go broke, just to make our children happy. To raise our children to expect all of these materialistic things, and then be disappointed if they don't get the popular, expensive toy of the year. I want our children to love Christmas for the times we spend as a family and the traditions we make. I want them to recognize the need to give to others and not what you yourself get.

So, this year we are buying 1 toy each from Santa and a few things for their stockings. From daddy and I they mostly got different art supplies, as they love coloring and drawing, cutting and gluing. They got paint, watercolors, markers, glue sticks, construction paper, and things like that. And you know what? I know they will love it. They will use it all up. If we had just spent money on toy after toy, they would have loved it for a time, and then it would just get pushed to a corner and forgotten about.

It's an internal struggle not giving in. I love seeing my children happy. To see them getting things they will love. I'm just desperately trying not to raise them to fall into the materialistic trap that we here in the US are currently in. And it is definitely hard to go against the grain when everything around you tells you not to. I'm just trying to keep my eye on the bigger picture though and not on the instant gratification.

How do you stop thinking about something?

2009-11-17T06:05:00.000-08:00

There is an area that Chris and I have talked about where we would love to end up, someday. We talked about it on our excursion this summer. We talked about the what-if's. We know the elders, one of which we know particularly well, we have met some of the other members. We didn't forsee it happening though for many many years, as the preacher there is young and from that area. We figured he would stay there for a long time to come.

However, last week we received an email from one of the elders letting us know that their current preacher will be getting married, going back to school for a different degree, and will be leaving around Thanksgiving. To say we were blown away and in shock is putting it mildly. He then went on to say that he put Chris's resume in the pot, and that it is the only one in. He also said that they were going to take their time and get some things in order before starting the interview process.

We have no idea on if they are planning on advertising the position, if they are just going to interview Chris, or when they are even going to "get serious". No idea. I want to read more into his emails, but I'm TRYING to take them at face value. It's been hard though because since he told us this it comes across my thoughts several times throughout the day. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I know that hasn't been possible since I read those first words saying the position was open.

We don't know how to proceed now though. Chris has a really really good shot at the job. It's somewhere we have talked about wanting to go for years. Now, no where else even sounds good. Not that there has been much advertised. It's just kind of a hard thing to go through. He said he guesses he will keep applying to other positions and then if anything else gets somewhat serious then he will talk to the elder, if we hadn't heard any news so far. He just doesn't want to get caught without a job by holding out for this one job, and then him not get it in the end.

So here I am, trying to PATIENTLY wait for more word from the congregation. TRYING not to think about it, but failing miserably.

Down in spirits

2009-11-09T11:59:00.001-08:00

I don't know what is wrong with me. I've been battling this feeling for the past week. Down in spirits kind of feeling. I'm bone tired for absolutely no reason, which doesn't help. Or is perhaps the culprit. Not really sure.

I'm sleeping just fine at night. Friday night I was actually in bed before 9:00. And I slept until 6:30. And I was still exhausted. I tell you what, if I hadn't just had AF a few weeks ago and if I was nausous, I would actually think I was pregnant. That's how exhausted I am. Yes, I know I'm not pregnant, just in case that's what you are thinking. No, I will not be taking a test. Like I said, I had full blown AF just 2 weeks ago, that lasted the customary 7+ days, and I'm not sick.

It just has me feeling very grumpy, impatient, and just down.

I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

I hate feeling this way.

Job hunting

2009-11-05T05:06:00.000-08:00

Can I just say I am sooooo not looking forward to this part, for when Chris is done with school. We want to go north too, which makes it that much harder. I'm also not looking forward to the mind games that I've seen some churches play.

There is 1 place that has shown interest in Chris, but they just aren't sure if they want to wait that long. They have brought up the topic a couple times on it being hard on us being away from family. We have tried telling them that that is not a problem for us. Our families have never been a huge part in our life and regardless if they choose Chris or not, we will be going somewhere not in Missouri when he is finished. We WILL be leaving, if they give him a job or not. I tried telling him that we were looking anywhere north between Washington and Maine.

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that come June he will have a job. I have no doubts that God will take care of us, we just want to get going and get settled on wherever we are going.

Radio silence

2009-11-04T12:28:00.000-08:00

It wasn't on purpose that I have been gone for so long. For the past month things have been moving and record speed and I've hardly had time to poke my head above the water and breathe, let alone come on here and blog. After Thursday I think things will start to slow down a bit. I seriously don't know how people thrive in environments like this, always having to be somewhere or do something. It's definitely not me and I am physically and mentally exhausted.

So what have I wanted to blog about but haven't been able to?

Well, we celebrated our 8 year anniversary on October 26. His mom came down that weekend for a visit and so Chris and I went out to dinner that Friday night, just he and I. It was great. We went to this hole-in-the-wall BBQ place that was hands down the best BBQ I have ever ate. When we first pulled up I was just thinking seriously, THIS is where you want to eat? I felt bad after I got my food!

Then on the 27th we celebrated Faith's 4th birthday. I still can't believe I have a 4 year old. Seriously, when did this happen? She is becoming more of a young girl every day and it honestly scares me. I'm not ready for her to grow up! We had cake with pink sprinkles, presents, and dance around the living room to the Beatles birthday song, as is our tradition. It was a great time. Unfortunately Chris was in the middle of finals and so we weren't able to celebrate much.

His finals were over on the 28th and so that Thursday we took everyone to Chuck-e-Cheeses and we all had a wonderful time playing games and eating pizza.

A couple of weeks ago Samantha started ice skating and Faith started her hockey. They are both absolutely loving it. Samantha skated around last night without the buckets and she was just so proud. And the concerns the hockey director had about Faith that I listed below...completely unfounded. She did wonderful. Like I told him, she may not talk to you but she WILL listen and follow directions. And it was so cute afterwards. There were some boys 7-8 years old waiting in the wings to get on the ice after they were done. Faith was the last one off. Each of the boys wanted her to hit their knuckles as she passed and most commented on how they liked her gloves (they are pink). It was just absolutely adorable that they did that for her and wasn't something you would expect from that age group. Made me even more excited for her to play.

On Thursday I have a devotional I'm doing for the student's wives and then I think things will slow down considerably. I definitely have more to blog about that's for sure!

Discrimination at it's finest

2009-10-06T05:47:00.000-07:00

I knew Faith would have to deal with some form of discrimination as she wants to play a sport that is predominately played by males. I just wasn't expecting to hit that attitude so early on.

I'm not fond of the hockey director here at all. To be honest, I don't think he really wants Faith to play, just by the little things he throws into conversations. The other day we were there, I was with all 3 kids, and I had to ask him a question about something. As we were leaving he started talking to Elijah saying he has to get his mama a rule book so I can start reading it to him. HELLO...you KNOW both my daughters want to play, 1 of which is getting ready to play, so why would you not make that comment to all 3, just the 6 month old boy? Plus, he completely discredited the fact that I may just know a thing or two about hockey, and that as we watch games I explain different rules to them.

Because, you know, I am a woman, so I guess that means I don't know anything.

Sigh.

It's frustrating.

It's also the tone he has been using with me regarding Faith playing this October. "Well, are you SURE she is going to listen", "She does know that you won't be on the ice with her, doesn't she", "she DID throw a fit the last time I tried to take her out"

Yup, just 3 of the comments I heard from him just yesterday. It's always like that.

Just because she won't talk to someone doesn't mean she can't take direction. She has been with her learn to skate coach for 8 weeks...Faith has talked to her once. She always listens and does as she is asked, she just won't talk to her. Faith is really uncomfortable with one-on-one conversations with adults, especially when there are no other children around. I explained that to him and how she acts with the Learn to Skate coach.

Regarding the second comment, I seriously just wanted to deck him for that one. Yes, thank you genius. I don't go out with her now, why would it be any different? I go out on the ice with her on Saturday's during the open session skate, but she has been skating since January and I have never gone out on the ice with her during her lessons.

And regarding the fit she threw...that was almost a year ago. She was new to skating and she didn't know him and it was just Faith and the hockey coach. And what she did was not throw a fit, but she was scared and didn't want to go with him. She wouldn't let go of my leg. When there are other children around she is much more comfortable.

Do I know if she will do well? Just pop out on the ice without a moment of hesitation. No, of course not. But I'm not going to let her not try just because she may not do well. I'm not going to let her just hide away at home because she is afraid of new experiences. I think she will be hesitant, she is now even with her Learn to Skate, but I think she will do just fine. Only time will tell.

Getting ready for hockey

2009-10-05T12:32:00.001-07:00

It has been a crazy time in our household lately and I just haven't been able to get on and blog, as much as I wanted to. There have been other things I have had to take care of and writing on here was pretty low on the totem pole. I think things are coming back around now though.

Since last Saturday Elijah completely stopped sleeping through the night. We kept hoping it would get better, but Chris and I were only getting a couple of hours of sleep a night. We were worn out! If finally hit me the other day that both the girl went through this as well right at the 6-7 month mark. In don't know if it is just my children, but so far we are 3 for 3. At this time all of them needed their own spaces to sleep, as they were always in my room at first. It's at this age that all of them have realized that the bed they see from their crib has mama in it and if I whine she will come and get me. So every time they all would just stand there in their crib, looking at me sleeping, and whine until I finally woke up.

So, Elijah is now in the closet. Ok, sounds worse than it is really. Chris's office was in the closet so it isn't too bad. We moved him out into our bedroom and moved Elijah's crib in. And guess what happened on the very first night of our new arrangement. He slept! He woke up at 5:30 am and was mad he couldn't find his pacifier. I found one for him and he laid right back down and fell back asleep. Ah the sleep was nice!

There is just no stopping the boy now. He crawls everywhere. He is now pulling up to standing on his own as well. Such a strong little boy! He has his second tooth that I officially called as through on Thursday.

One of the things I have been working on these past few weeks is getting Faith ready to start hockey. When I first wrote down everything we needed, then looked on the web for the costs of everything I just about had a heart attack and was wondering if she would really be able to play. Through lots of research though I was able to find some great deals. For instance, a new helmet would have cost $75.00 and the youth face cage that goes on it would have been another 17. I was able to get one on ebay w/ the cage for $18.50. Needless to say, I'm breathing much better now. It's been a little hard to find her size though because she is so skinny. The next big item are skates. We are going over to the rink today to go through some things the coach has to see if there are any her size. If not, the guy at the proshop said the skates we tried on her will be going on sale this week. Hopefully we will be able to get some from the coach since she will outgrow them so quickly.

I have also had to do research to find everything pink that I could. Needless to say, pink is quite the difficult color to find in the hockey world. We have gotten a few things though: Pink hockey socks, pink tape, pink laces. I got white gloves and I'm going to try dying them pink using some acid dye. Fingers crossed that will work! Once she gets her helmet in she fully plans on sprucing it up girlie style with some butterfly stickers.

It's quite funny to see how she wants to play such a male dominated sport yet still stay her pretty princess self. I love it! I don't think it will be hard at all to point her out on the ice! Once we have all of her gear we will definitely be taking pictures and putting them up here.

Every Saturday I take Faith to the rink for the free skate and go out on the ice with her. It is such a great time we have together. We have been doing this for a few months now and every single time it never fails that someone will ask how old she is. When I tell them she is 3 they are just beside themselves that she skates so good. I'm not exaggerating either. Every. Single. Saturday.

We were going to wait until January to start Samantha, closer to her 3rd birthday. But she is itching so bad to get out there and skate too. So...she will also be starting here in a few weeks when the next sessions start. She is so excited. Once she is able to skate on her own then she will be coming with us on Saturday as well.

So, I guess that is that. Posting a few pictures now that I have finally taken them off of the camera!

Samantha loving on baby bruder

One Sunday after church

Trying to play with sissy

He always wants to climb on top of things and then gets really mad when he can't get down

He followed me into the bathroom.

Musings of a 3 year old

2009-09-19T06:01:00.000-07:00

Here is how our conversation went yesterday:

Faith: Mama, I prayed to God in my bed.

Me: That's very good Faith. It makes God very happy when we pray to him.

Faith: Yeah. I asked him if you could have a boy and a girl.

Me: Me just about dying laughing...you asked God if I could have TWINS?!?

Faith: Yeah, that way they could play together in your belly.

Ah yes, the wisdom of a 3 year old. I would hate for a baby in my belly to not have a playmate! I'm thinking we don't need to be reading the Dora book where her mom has B/G twins anymore!

That's not fair

2009-09-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

Right now I have some lyrics from Rod Stewart running through my head. I hate that I'm feeling that way. I know I shouldn't feel that way. God has blessed us far more than we ever deserve. Yet, when I hear about a certain situation going on right now I want to act like a baby, stomp my foot, and yell THAT'S NOT FAIR! I am so mad at myself for feeling this way, and I'm praying for forgiveness. I don't need these negative thoughts and feelings in my life, and I know it isn't Godly in the slightest. I know we all have our faults, and I am definitely working on it.

Here's the lyrics:
Some guys have all the luck
Some guys have all the pain
Some guys get all the breaks
Some guys do nothing but complain

The downside of having a spit-uper and being on solids

2009-09-09T13:24:00.001-07:00

What goes down orange must come up orange.

And after seeing this, Samantha replies, "That's disgusting".

Yes dear, yes it is.

6 month post, already!!!

2009-09-09T11:13:00.000-07:00

I can't believe Elijah is a half year old already. It just doesn't seem possible. I will have to post pictures later because my camera battery died and is charging up.

He has been doing so much lately. He started crawling a couple of weeks ago, which just blows my mind. It can go anywhere he wants with no problems. It is so hard to keep the floor clean of little stuff with Faith and Samantha around so I'm constantly on the lookout. He is also pulling to a sitting position by himself from his tummy. He will just sit there until he is ready to move onto something else. He isn't saying anything with syllables yes, is just still cooing. If I remember right I believe the girls were that way too. They were really quick with the motor skills and just a little bit slower on the verbal skills. From what I understand that's usually the way they are. They will zoom through on one and will take a little longer on the other.

I just started him on solids last Monday. He had cereal all last week and then we started green beans yesterday. He loves them and gobbled it right up. And yeah, I have always waited until right at 6 months until I start solids. There really is no other reason except that I don't like changing routines. Adding solids makes me change the whole eating routine and trying to figure out what works in regards to how much formula he gets. What can I say, I'm lazy and I don't like change!

He sleeps from usually about 8:30 to 4:30. Then he gets a bottle and then will be back to sleep until about 7:30. I wasn't sure if he was waking up at 4:30-5:00 out of habit or because he really was hungry and so I checked with the doctor, just to be sure. She said more than likely he really is hungry since it has been about 8 hours since he ate. I just wanted to be sure because I don't want him waking up just out of habit thinking he gets to eat when he really isn't hungry.

95% of the time he gets put down in his crib awake and will fall asleep on his own. Most of the time he will fight it if we are holding him but if he gets put down he will go to sleep. Such a nice change from when Faith was a baby! He just gets his pacifier, his blanket, and he is good to go. He absolutely loves his blankie. And I know what you are thinking...a blanket...nooooooo, they aren't suppose to sleep with a blanket! I know, I know, but it is an afghan. There is absolutely no way he can suffocate in it. He loves slipping his fingers through it, pulling it up over his face, and going to sleep. Since he sleeps with it pulled over his head it is the only type of blanket I will let him sleep with.

His doctor appointment was today and he is now 17lbs, 15 oz and is 27 inches long. He is in the 50% for weight and 75% for height. I thought he would be in a higher percentile for weight because the boy is a little chunk. He has slimmed down a bit though since he started crawling. A lot of times when we are holding him he will just squirm like you wouldn't believe because he wants to get down and crawl around.

I have one huge huge grip about my peds office. The urgent care is right there next to the peds, it's just one big room basically. We were there today and there was a woman in a wheelchair because she was so sick, covered in a blanket, shaking, coughing (they finally came over and gave her a mask), and she was sitting right there in the peds section instead of over by urgent care. I was furious. One, they should have told her to move away from the peds section, two they should have had her in a room right away so they don't get others sick. They have the well-check kids off in a separate area but you still had to walk right by this lady to get to the front desk. One of the other women in the well check area was fuming mad too as she was in with her 1 week old. First off, why would you put urgent care right next to the peds, secondly, why would you have someone this sick just sitting right out in the open, where everyone had to walk right by. Just crazy!

Memories

2009-09-05T05:57:00.001-07:00

In our preachers wives class our teacher wants us to tell of a good memory of our mothers at our next class. It shouldn't be that hard. Yet one or two is all I can come up with. I have a whole bank of bad memories. I mean, that can't be right can it? Are my bad memories just overwhelming the good ones? It's not like I was abused or anything. Yet I have a very limited amount of good memories. Was she the best mother, no...but I know she wasn't the worst either.

I wish she had never asked us this question because it's making me think of a lot of things that I had pushed down and out of my thoughts. It's making me reflect on some moments that I hadn't thought about as being bad, and seeing them through an adults view and thereby realizing just how bad it was. More and more moments keep popping up like that and I hate it. It's things I don't want to think about. Things about my childhood, before the age of 12, when I thought things weren't so bad. After the age of 12, forget about it, there isn't anything good I can come up with.

Like when I flipped my friends Jeep Cherokee 3 times across a highway in Dallas at 2 in the morning when I was 16, in which somehow no one was hurt (my friend had passed out after hitting her head on the roof of the car since she was sleep in the back seat and almost fell out the back hatch back when the back door ripped off, but she was alright). The cops had to take me back to the police station and kept asking me how to contact my mom so she could come and get me. I couldn't give them an answer. I had no idea where she was. That was a daily occurrence. My friends mom finally came and they let me go home with her so I wouldn't have to stay there at the station all night. And yes, staying out at 2am was a pretty regular thing for me at that age, even during school days. I had no parental guidance, sadly enough.

Once I became a Christian and I was around more families, I saw what I had been missing. Before then I didn't realize just how abnormal it was. Then it just made me sad that I didn't have the type of relationship with my mom that many other women have. After I saw how a real relationship was suppose to be it really made me sad that I didn't, and don't, have that with my own mother.

Maybe that's why that book I'm reading on Spiritual Mothering hit so close to home.

Why do I always have such a mish mash of things?

2009-09-04T12:10:00.001-07:00

Remember that message just a few spots below on the email I have been waiting for. Yeah, still waiting. Sent another email Tuesday. Still nothing. I am hurt beyond words at the blatant disrespect by someone I considered a friend. I mean I brought something up, she offered something more to said plan and said she had to check on something before she could say for sure. That was at the beginning of August. The time for said plan is now coming and going very quickly. As in it will be squashed if I don't hear back in the next couple of days. Needless to say if I don't hear back there will be no more emails. Like I said, I'm just frustrated and completely hurt.

Ah well, just had to vent. I'm sure I'm just being oversensitive. As usual.

We are very quickly coming upon Elijah's 6 month mark. Absolutely unbelievable. I will be posting an update on him in a few days with all the goody information.

We have really hit a good routine here in our household. Which is the first time in about a year. It feels absolutely wonderful and I don't feel like I am so skatterbrained anymore. We are still continuing our daily morning bible studies, obviously, but now we are adding in some light schooling too. We are still going through our letters and sound as well as doing copywork for whatever letter we are working on. Throughout the last few months we have been doing the letter of the week program but quite frankly, it is moving way to slow for Faith. She is picking up most letters after the first day. I think we will be moving on to 2 letters a week from now on. 1 letter for a few days, and then moving on to another letter for a few days. We review every letter and its sound everyday. I have also started doing Phonics with her using the Phonics Pathways book. So far so good. I have to admit, teaching someone how to read, for me, is the most intimidating part. It's such a vital part of everything.

Samantha is picking up on some letters to since she sits with us at the table. I'm hoping that means it will be that much easier to teach her to read when the time comes. They still love doing the Starfall.com activities too so we will be keeping that. I've been working with Faith on counting to 50 too. She gets all the numbers until it's time to move up to 30, 40, or 50. She keeps forgetting which one comes next. And working with her on the days of the week and learning about what day yesterday was and what day tomorrow will be. We spend about 30 minutes in the morning on everything. I don't want it to be too rigid since I know we will have the next 15+ years to do formal work. Just keeping it light and fun.

Here are some more pictures from our trip this summer. Sorry it has taken so long to post. I have so many more in my camera that I need to get on the computer.

This is the first time in a long time I caught a REAL smile from Samantha!

Then I got another...

Back to pouty lips
But then yet another smile! My lucky day!

Ah yes, big sisters always have to do all the work...

So sweet!

Just ate...look at that belly pooch!

Just a happy little boy

Yup, still happy

Look what new thing I can do ma!

Enjoying a hay ride...they absolutely loved it

Pictures from Duluth and the North Shore coming soon!

Good book for the soul

2009-08-27T19:27:00.001-07:00

Elijah just has not been sleeping well at all this past week. I don't know what is going on. Hopefully he will get back on schedule!

I've been reading this great book, "Spiritual Mothering". I actually bought it because I was looking for books to give me ideas on raising Christian children. It wasn't even close to that though. It was about older women being "spiritual mothers" to younger women. To being a great role model and really helping and motivating younger women. It has been a really motiviational book and has really opened my eyes to some things.

It really made me realize that this is what I was yearning for as a new, young Christian woman. I could never put to words what I was hungry for, but while reading this book I was reading exactly what I had wanted and needed but was never able to find. I never had a strong Christian older woman to help me grow, to show me how to be a better Christian woman, wife, and mother. I certainly don't have that in my own family nor do I have a good role model for a mother seeing how my own mother doesn't fit the bill.

Maybe that's why some of those websites I found that I talked about in the previous post really hit home. There were women living how I knew I should be but wasn't sure how. I was able to see first hand how to do it and to see it was possible to be the homemaker I wanted to be. Is that an odd thing to say? I want to be a great homemaker? But it's true. I want to be able to pass on these great skills to my own children.

And while I don't think I quite qualify as a young christian woman anymore, I was able to see what kind of effect it can have on someone if I take that role. How I can help someone grow stronger as a Christian. It's just really weird being at this age because I'm not exactly a young Christian yet I'm not an older Christian either. I'm somewhere in this middle ground.

Am I making any sense to anyone or am I just sounding like a big rambling mess?

The 3 H's

2009-08-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

What are the 3 H's you ask? Well, right now they are Homeschooling, Homesteading, and Homemaking. Ok, homesteading and homemaking are kind of the same, just not really. These are just some things I have been working on lately.

Have you heard of the term homesteading? The "modern" term I guess you can say, not the 1800's type of homesteading. I had a thought that I would try to start making my own laundry soap. I've heard great things about it and it will save a ton of money, seeing as how we are always doing laundry now. So I went online and was pulling up some different ways to make it and I ran across some Christian Homemaking websites and thus ran across some homesteading websites. Apparently it is a lifestyle in which you choose to live a life of self-sufficiency. There were so many things that were appealing to me, just doing things on your own. Now I don't think I could COMPLETELY live this way, but I would love to eventually incorporate some of these things into our life. Of course, after Chris graduates and we are no longer living in an apartment. I didn't even know there was a term for it, but there were a lot of good blogs about it. Which then got my mind reeling on something else...

Christian homemaking. Through reading some of these wonderful women's blogs I have really been able to get a better light on how I should be handling our household. Especially since I'm not really working any more. It also gave me some great, healthy recipies that I have been incorporating into our breakfast and dinners. I have started making whole wheat bread, although my first batch didn't go quite so good. Turns out somehow the oven got turned off and so after an hour I took it out of the oven and it completley fell. I didn't know what was going on. Turned out the outside was cooked, the inside was completely raw. I was able to put it back in the oven, and it cooked just fine, it was just really small since it had fell. I'm going to try again later.

I can't even explain as well as I would like the effect some of these blogs had on me. It really opened my eyes as to how to do things and manage things.

Ok, looks like the homeschooling thread will have to have it's own post...I'm off to bed!

Email etiquette

2009-08-26T04:13:00.000-07:00

It really drives me nuts when I send someone an email asking a question, needing some support, and that person will not write back. Even when asked a second time when they haven't responded in a few weeks. I mean, if you are afraid of offending me with the answer, don't be, I am an adult and can take whatever your advice/answer may be. What's more offending is simply acting like I don't exist.

Sigh.

I've been waiting for this particular email for 3 weeks. Sent another email a week ago today. Still nothing. It's so frustrating!

Busy little bee

2009-08-21T05:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy last few weeks. It was decided that we would head back home a week earlier than planned. We were told they were just exhausted from having us (they were 70+). Not quiet sure if I believe that though because the only time we came upstairs was to go outside or if they were eating or if I had to give them a bath. The rest of the time we stayed downstairs in the basement. It was hard staying with people you don't know for a length of time. I just always felt like I was in the way or was disturbing someone. I just hope I didn't do anything. I don't want something I did to look bad upon Chris or the person who recommend us for the internship. They talked to Chris about us leaving on Wednesday and I hurried and packed up everything and we left Thursday morning. They did ask that we not be offended and that we could stay for a few days if we wanted, but I don't stay where I'm not wanted. I hate to say but it sure did bring up some bad memories of being kicked out at 17 (for no reason other than my mom found out it was legal and she wanted to move to another city to be closer to her boyfriend) and a lot of feelings of self-consciousness. Who knows, maybe they really were just tired.

We had a great time up in Minnesota though and met some wonderful people who I hope will always be friends.

On Monday Chris will be starting back to school. It's nice to know that this is his last year but we are all going to miss seeing much of him for the next 10 months. It will be back to being like a single mom. =( I miss having him as my partner and the girls miss him terribly too. BUT this is his last year and so every day is one step closer, every day is a "last". It will be his last first quarter, his last time he will have a class on so-and-so day, etc. And THAT is so exciting. The thing I'm not so excited about is trying to find a job. He thinks he is going to start looking in Jan of next year so hopefully that will give him some time. We are both just really nervous that he won't have anything yet by the time he graduates in June. I mean, we have 3 children and the thought of no money coming in makes me sick to my stomach. Ugh! I keep telling myself to just trust in God and He will take care of us. I absolutely know this is true but at the same time I struggle to let go of control.

I just know that nothing ever is easy for us. We have been together for 11 years and everything is always the hard way. It's nothing knew, but it's just frustrating when you see others with everything just drop in their laps. It's tough when its someone who you see on a daily basis. Like someone he goes to school with got a job he didn't even know he was trying out for when he doesn't graduate for another year. I can't even imagine having that burden lifted knowing that Chris had a job after he graduated before the last year even began. I am really happy for him and his family, and for the congregation he will be preaching for as he is a great preacher all ready, I just hope this isn't another time for us to be having to take the hard road. I just wish things would come easily for us for a change. Whine whine whine! Ok, I'm over it. No more whining!

So, that's where we are. I'm just trying to get some things done around the house while I still have an extra set of hands, things that probably won't get done again until he is done with school. Which hopefully won't need to be done then either because we will be packing to move.. ;-)

Control

2009-08-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

I'm having a hard time trying to not let my anger win when it comes to someone who has never had a child be critical and judgmental of me and my children. Yes, Faith is only 3, she does make a mess when she eats. Regardless of where she sits, there is potential for a bit of a mess. Especially said mess is a biscuit that crumbles when you eat it. Yes, Samantha is only 2. She cries. A lot when she gets tired. Yelling at her and telling her to stop is not going to make her stop. Especially since you are a stranger.

This does not make me a bad mother nor does it give you the right to try to correct my children.

I'm just sayin...

It's beautiful up here, but I'm ready to be in my own space again and on my own schedule.

No more pictures for the time being

2009-08-08T20:35:00.000-07:00

I have so many pictures to get off my camera that I want to upload on here. Cute pictures of Elijah when he turned 5 months, cute pictures of Sam where I actually got her smiling, pictures of all of us when we went to Duluth yesterday and got a couple of cute family pictures.

Why don't I upload them on here already you ask? (not that you really asked)

My camera is dead. The battery is drained. I could have swore that I packed the charger. I remember setting it out so I wouldn't forget it. BUT I can't find it anywhere. I'm assuming that I did forget it and it is sitting somewhere other than where I need it to be. Turns out another battery is like 50 bucks...um, no thanks! I'm going to try to hunt down a charger, if it's cheap enough.

I really hope I'm able to find one. Now that our car is fixed we have places to go, places to be...which means lots of pictures to take! Grrr!

Random pics from the end of June/beginning of July

2009-08-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

I hate that it adds these in backwards. So it is from July 9th on the top to the end of June on the bottom.

He was talking to his froggy...

Why, hello mama!!!!

Oh, sorry froggy, I wasn't ignoring you...

ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Yup, he was out that fast. All of a sudden it got really quiet.
Samantha sleeping with her kitty. She has slept with it for over a year.

4th of July...obviously. We were in a parade! She ate this box of nerds one nerd at a time.

Not only does he like to suck on them, but also talk to them.

Sleeping nice and cozy

Sissy giving him some lovin

5 months, where does the time go?

2009-08-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

Today, just 5 short months ago, sweet little Elijah came into this world. It's such a strange feeling, and one I no doubt have blogged about before. The feeling of I can't believe it has only been 5 months (as in, that was fast), and also the feeling of it has really ONLY been 5 months (as in, it feels like he has been with us forever). I know I have felt this way with all 3 of them. He is really in a fun phase right now where he is rolling everywhere but not mobile enough for me to have to keep an insane watch on him.

I can't remember where I found the milestones list that I had when we was 4 months and quite honestly, I'm too tired to look now. Here' s a little list though. Obviously he is rolling both stomach to back and back to stomach, and does it to get from point A to point B. He is also able to kind of scootch forward if something is a little out of reach. His eyesight is absolutely spot on. He can see me or his bottle from across the room. He also sees small objects. He has no problems at all grabbing for his toys and will switch them from one hand to the other. He absolutely loves to play with his toes and loves sucking on them. I have lots of pictures of it. He loves to babble too, along with smiling. He has a smile just like Faith, where his whole face with light up...eyes and all. And he is smiling all the time. He is still insanely ticklish and loves to be kissed (which I obviously don't mind!!!). He is just such a lovable little boy.

On this trip I have really realized that I have been underestimating Faith. The thins she can help with, I never even thought she could do. When we get back home I'm going to start letting her help me cook and set the table. Until we got here where we have been visiting the past few weeks did I know how much she loves to set the table. Well ok little lady, have at it!!! She is just becoming this big girl.

And my dear little Samantha. Turning 2 has been hard on her! She has definitely become more stubborn. I was finally able to catch her with a smile on camera. I will upload them all tomorrow since it is still on my camera. She is letting me kiss on her more now though, so no complaints here! She is just in that phase where you're not sure what you are going to get. Still hasn't been as hard as when Faith was going through the 2-year phase. It absolutely kills me the things she can say now and it just makes me laugh to hear her talk.

I can't even begin to describe how blessed I am. I never want to try to imagine my life without any of these 3 little souls. Even on the hardest of days. They are such a joy and light in my life.

Now I have to admit something. It is absolutely crazy. Crazy. C-R-A-Z-Y. I'm crazy for thinking it. There are 2 couples here at the church who are having babies. Actually, 1 of them I do believe are going to have one tonight. It made me yearn to be pregnant again and go through it all over again. Did I mention crazy??? I thought it would take a lot longer to have this feeling again since my pregnancy with Elijah was so hard and then with all the breastfeeding woes. I seriously thought it would take at LEAST until Eli was a year to miss it. There is just absolutely no way we can even think about trying right now. None. Not gonna happen. We have to wait until Chris is done with school, or at least close to being done. It was so hard on both of us this last time. I was so sick, Chris had to pick up on stuff that I didn't have the energy to get through, along with trying to keep up with his own school stuff. It was just way to much on the both of us. Plus, I want to enjoy Elijah as the baby for awhile. I think the spacing with Samantha and Eli is perfect and wouldn't mind that same gap again. Of course I'm speaking on this with the hopes that 1) I'm able to get pregnant again, and 2) that I don't go through another round of miscarriages.

Still, we aren't even going to start trying until March of next year. I wonder though if it's normal. Do women who are done having kids still feel this way? Wish they could go through it again? Eh, who knows!

OK, guess I'm done for now. I wasn't expecting this to turn out so long.

These pics were from the middle of July, before we left on our trip, although I have more in my camera of him chomping away at his toes.

Did I mention he REALLY likes to suck on his toes?

Holy growth spurt batman

2009-07-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

Chris and I both were thinking yesterday that it didn't seem like Elijah was as chunky as he had been. I wondered if he had gone through a growth spurt and so I got the tape measure out. Sure enough, in the last 2 1/2 weeks, he has grown 1 1/4 inches! So I guess that was a resounding YES.

We have been noticing that he is trying to crawl. Seriously. He isn't even 5 months yet. He can push his entire chest up, get his legs underneath him, and lurch forward a bit. Or, he just curls up his toes while on his belly and will scootch forward that way. I am so not ready for crawling. He isn't suppose to be starting this for a few more months. Why can't my babies just like to be babies for awhile. Sigh. It just goes way to fast. If he doesn't do that, he will just roll to wherever he wants to go.

A travelin we will go

2009-07-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

It has been a whirlwind week. Last Monday we had the car all packed up and left out on our great summer adventure. Tonight is the first night I am finally able to sit down and blog about it all. Here is everyone right before we set out. First stop, Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Miles: 535.

I was wondering just how long those smiles would last. Thankfully, due to the video player, it lasted just about the whole time with the girls. Eli was the one I was really worried about. He had been going through a phase where he always wanted to be held.

Well, Eli would get cranky of course when he was hungry, so I would just pop on back and give him a bottle. When he would get tired or would just need some attention either Chris or I (depending on who was driving of course) would just sit back there for awhile. He did absolutely wonderful. After about 9 hours or so on the road we finally got to our hotel. Ah sweet hotel stay number 1. It was probably one of the best hotels I've stayed in. We had an awesome continental breakfast. Definitely spoiled us for the rest of the trip. We unload the car and got to relax for a little while. Morning came way to earlier, packed up the car for the second leg of the trip. Next stop, Sturgis, South Dakota. Miles: 375.

Call me crazy, but I absolutely love the state of South Dakota. I loved being back in this state and I was so looking forward getting back to the Black Hills. The kiddos all did amazing, again. We stopped in the Badlands to get a tshirt that we weren't able to get last time we were there, then hopped back in the car for the final miles to our hotel stay numbers 2 and 3 in Sturgis. It was nice to be in a hotel for a couple of days this time. We got to the hotel and relax for a short time and then we headed over to one of the elders house for some good home cooked dinner. Such a nice change to the garbage we had been eating on the road. It was such a great time of fellowship. It had been a couple of years since we had seen them and it was so nice to see our friends again. They got to hear from Chris about what all he has been doing in school and they were very impressed with what they had been learning. We got back to the hotel really late that night. After the girls were in bed I leaned in to give Samantha a kiss on her forehead and she was burning up. Blah! Out Chris goes to hunt down some Tylenol. Luckily her fever broke a few hours later. She caught a bit of a cold but was doing good the next morning.

On Wednesday we decided to go and take a tour of a mine. This one to be exact:

We waited just a short time...

30 minutes later, tour over. It was ok, just not as good as I was expecting. See...proof we all made it out!

(Do I really look that fat in person? Really? Chris said what do you expect, you just had a baby 4 months ago, and it's not like you have a personal trainer. I say, that's no excuse. I look gross. Again, do I seriously look like that?)

We also took a drive through Spearfish canyon since we weren't able to our first time in the Black Hills. Ah, such amazing beauty. I would live here if I could I love it so much. Stopped to take a picture of one of the waterfalls. Ok, I did more than take a picture. I ignored the do not hike signs (in all fairness, EVERYONE ignored the sign) and hiked over to the base of the waterfall. It was the first one I had ever seen and it was just beautiful.

Then, back to the hotel where we all rested for a few hours before heading over to the church. The wonderful ladies there had a potluck dinner for us and then it was time for Chris to preach. It was his first time preaching for them, and it turned out I was far more nervous than he was. I just wanted them to see what a great blessing the school has been. He did really good and they were all very please. Whew. We ended up staying there and vising with everyone for a few hours afterward and again got back to the hotel quiet late.

Then, pack up the car again and head to hotel number 3. Next stop, Mankato, MN. Miles: 550.

Goodbye Black Hills, I will miss you

OK, as much as I love South Dakota, driving through the state twice in just a couple of days...not so much fun. It takes about 5 1/2 hours to drive across it, and a lot of the land is, well, flat. And boring. Just fine once, but to go through twice in just a few days was hard. As if the state knew that you would need a break from the boringness, it gets really beautiful again by the Missouri River. Which, by the way, is so amazingly clear up there. We just get the muddy mess by the time it gets down here to Missouri. The flat and vast land starts to roll a bit.

And then quite a bit more. The pictures really doesn't do it justice. It is really pretty. (just don't mind the buggy smeared windshield.

Then pop over a hill and tada...the clear Missouri River.

Then, back to flat land. No need for pictures. Chris actually drove all the way through. We stopped back in Sioux Falls for some lunch and then I drove the rest of the way to Mankato. So...no pictures. Although, most of the drive wasn't much different than in South Dakota. Most of the drive was in Minnesota but bordering on Iowa...so lots and lots of flat farm land. Finally get to Mankato. Same old, same old. Unpack the car, sleep, pack it back up.

Final stop, Virginia, MN. Miles: 276.

Can I just say, driving through St. Paul/Minneapolis...so NOT FUN! The roads were a mess, the drivers were bad, and our Tom Tom thingy told us to get off on an exit when we were suppose to stay on the highway. We finally got back on though and were back on our way. Road construction going on, of course, as it was the entire trip. So here is where it got a bit interesting. When we were in the Black Hills the TCS (traction control system) button went off as well as the check engine. Grrrr. We were hoping it would resolve itself because my van likes to let the check engine light come on for no reason. The next morning, all warning lights were off. Then, about an hour into when I was driving it came back on. The car wasn't doing anything differently, on we drove. Well, we stopped for gas about 90 miles from Virginia. Chris was accelerating hard to get back on the highway and it starts to sputter. My heart stopped. Here we are in the middle of no where. I was just thinking please don't die, please don't die. He let off the gas and it was fine. About 20 miles later (and both of us just praying we get here) he goes to pass a car, accelerates heavy, same thing happens.

So um, yeah. Here we are hundreds of miles from home and we are having car problems. We having been driving around just a little around town and if he doesn't accelerate too fast it is fine. We can't get it in the shop until Thursday. We are just hoping and praying that it isn't something too expensive because 1) we don't exactly have just tons of money sitting in the bank and 2) it's not like we can GET to our bank to deposit what little money we have in savings. What ticks me off even more is the fact that we just put about $1,000 into this stupid car before we left so we could AVOID this exact problem. We had all the belts changed out, new tires put on, oil and fuel whatever changed. If it is going to be a costly fix I don't know what we are going to do. Chris thinks it is some sensor du-hicky (sorry, don't know car lingo). He said if it is what he thinks it is, he will be surprised if it gets fixed for less than 500 bucks. Yup, that number makes me sick to my stomach. We have never had a problem with this thing. Ever. Until now of course. I hate that they couldn't get it in sooner because now I just get to keep thinking about it.

Guess we will do what we have to do. For now we are just hanging out and enjoying some amazing weather. Low 70's at the end of July. Ah, a girl could get use to this!

(And no, Samantha is still not letting me take her picture. She won't look at me, let alone smile)

Whew, and that now brings us up to date.

Samantha

2009-07-13T05:41:00.001-07:00

Samantha has been really difficult to take pictures of lately. She just won't smile for the camera. And if you noticed that in most of her pictures she is with Elijah, that is because well, in real life she is always with Elijah. Or so it seems. If he isn't being held, she is right there with him.

She was reading a book to brudder.

This is what I got when I asked her to smile!

Hard to get a picture unless, of course, she is sleeping!

Comparisons

2009-07-13T05:19:00.001-07:00

I was trying to get comparison pictures of Faith and Elijah, both in their Jumperoo at about the same age. I was hoping to get the same expressions, but no such luck. Still, I think you can definitely see the resemblance!

Faith:

Elijah

Anxiety

2009-07-13T04:59:00.000-07:00

Well, we are now down to 7 days before we leave for our big summer adventure. I'm freaked to say the least! I feel like I still have so much to do by next Monday and not much time to do it in. A lot of what I need to do can't be done until a few days before, and to make matters worse we will be leaving Saturday to visit a congregation that supports Chris. So we will be leaving sometime Saturday afternoon and not getting back until probably late Sunday afternoon, and then we have a going away dinner after services on Sunday evening. I foresee a very late Sunday night for me!

It's just hard knowing I have to pack for a family of 5 for a month. Ok, technically 4 since Chris will be packing himself. And where we are going is on the cool side and so I have to not only pack clothes for the heat, when we will be in South Dakota for a few days, but also long sleeves, jeans, and light jackets for when we will be in Minnesota. AND Elijah just happens to be right in the middle of sizes. Some 3-6 month stuff is getting small but some of the 6-9 month stuff is still too big. What do I pack! Who knows what kind of growth spurt he will hit while we are there. So do I just pack the things that fit him right now and a few things that are bigger? Oh yeah, and I have to guess at that for his long sleeve stuff. Agggggggggg! Did I mention I was freaked?

I have a list of clothes to be packed in our hotel bags, organized into who will be wearing what for each day until we get to Minnesota 5 days later. That should help with the packing process. I'm going to be packing the clothes that the kids will be wearing in MN in a vacuum bag.

I'm trying to figure out what we will be needing for the 5 day road trip, things to do in the car for the kids, things we will need while driving, things for the hotel. And trying to keep it all organized! Just trying to keep it all straight on what we will need immediately, in the car, that we will be able to easily find yet keep things hopefully clean. I think what I'm going to do for the girls is buy them a backpack and fill it with things to do in the car and that they can easily take with them into the hotel, including Faith's baby and Sam's kitty that they always sleep with. I thought that way it would be easily accessible for in the car and it also gives them stuff to play with while in the hotel.

I'm also worried about how Elijah will be in the car. We have a lot of driving ahead of us and he is in a phase right now where he likes to be held. We are hoping if we just sit back there with him when he gets fussy that that will calm him down. It works on Sunday's on our long drives, but this drive will be much much longer.

While obviously anxious about getting everything done, I'm also so very excited. It has been 2 years since we have seen the people in Sturgis and I can't wait to see them again. One of the elders called yesterday and I answered the phone, it was the first time I, personally, have talked to him on the phone in almost 2 years. We have sent emails, but it was so nice to hear his voice again. Just got me even more excited! And then after that getting to go to a state and town that I have never been in. I just can't wait. It is going to be such an uplifting trip and hopefully we will be able to help others recharge their batteries as well. It has been 2 years since we have been on a vacation. While not technically a vacation, it will still be all of us, together, seeing some things for the first time.

Life is just full of adventures!

So...7 days and counting.

My big boy!

2009-07-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

Today Elijah had his 4 month well-check.

He is now up to 15 lbs, 12 oz and is 25 1/4 inches long. He is in the 75% for both. He is already outgrowing 3-6 month onesies and some of his pj's are getting small. Sigh, it goes by way to fast!

4 months...already!

2009-07-07T05:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Elijah was 4 months old. He has his well-check tomorrow morning so I guess I will find out what my little chunky monkey is up to. Here is a list of milestones I found:

* Your baby can raise herself up on straightened arms while lying on her tummy and look all around.

Most babies should be able to . . .

* Hold up head at 90 degree angle while on stomach
* Bear weight on both legs
* Goo and coo when you talk
* Laugh and smile

Some babies will probably be able to . . .

* Grasp a rattle or toy
* Pay attention to small object held in front of his or her face
* Roll over
* Reach out for objects
* Do small mini push ups

Some babies could possibly be able to . . .

* Turn in direction of familiar voices
* Hold head level with body when pulled to sit
* Sit without support
* Make a razzing sound
* Get upset if you take a toy away

Ge does most of these things except sit without support and get upset if you take a toy away. It is so amazing to watch him grow. In the last few weeks he has figured out he has feet. If he manages to get them up high enough, they go right in his mouth too. He has also been getting really good with his hands and can grab and play with some toys now. Makes driving distances a lot better now that he has SOMETHING to do. He definitely recognizes me, Chris, and the girls. We get huge smiles out of him if he sees us looking. I'm the only one he does this with, but if I even just talk to him he will start laughing like I told the funniest joke. I love it! He can see quite a ways now and can tell when I am coming to get him at a distance.

He has been rolling over from his back to his belly for a little while now. Although I suspect he has been able to do this for awhile as well, yesterday was the first time I witnessed him going from his belly to his back. Since it was the first time I saw it, that is what I'm going to record it as. And actually I didn't technically see it, I just saw him 1 second and he was on his belly, the next he was on his back.

He is starting to get a preference for me, just as the girls did. I attribute that to the fact that I am home all day with him, get up at night with him, etc. The girls were like this too until just past a year. Someone at a church we were visiting tried holding him. He started crying after a few seconds and so I took him back. He stopped crying immediately and started smiling again. Is it bad if I secretly love it when they do this???

He is such a happy baby. He of course cries if he is board, but if he is picked up he is just fine. If he is really crying even when held it is just because he is hungry or tired. I have also been noticing a routine, which is really nice. He eats at the same time and I can tell when he is sleepy.

Switching from breastfeeding to formula went more smoothly than I could have ever hoped for. It made the decision so much easier when I gave him a bottle of forumla for the first time and he drank it like he had been drinking formula and a bottle the whole time. Even though he had never even had a bottle. He is now eating 29 oz. He gets 5 oz 3 times a day and 7 oz twice a day. It really seems to be a good combo for him. Some days he spits up worse than others. Not sure what that is about. Sometimes he won't spit up at all, other days he can't hardly keep anything down. It never seems to bother him.

He is also starting to get his hair back. He still has a mohawk, but it is filling in on the sides now too.

It is just so much fun to see his personality coming out. Right now it seems like he has a mixture of his sisters in him. Sometimes he can't stand being alone (like Faith) other times he is perfectly content playing by himself (like Samantha).

4th of July

2009-07-04T19:19:00.000-07:00

We have had such a great 4th of July weekend. We had a get together on Friday night with people from church and shot off fireworks. Exhausting, but definitely fun. Then we got to get up nice and early this morning where we headed to a parade. Again, had a lot of fun. We got to ride on a float and support our fellow brother in Christ during his run for House rep. It was so great seeing the response from the people in the crowd as well. I was surprised how many people clapped and cheered. Makes me think we may just be able to get the House and Senate a little more balanced out. Fingers crossed!

I am just so thankful that we have the freedoms that we have. I'm thankful for the men and women who fought to give us these freedoms and I hope that none of us take advantage of this. I am also so very thankful for those who are still fighting to ensure not only our freedom but those in other countries as well.

I have pictures from the parade, but I'm really, really tired and so I'm not going to get them off of my camera tonight. Hopefully will post them tomorrow.

I hope all of you also had a wonderful holiday!

More pictures

2009-07-01T06:41:00.000-07:00

Faith is singing...using a disney book...

She looks so grown up here!

Need to get more pictures of Sammy. She is really hard to catch on camera!

Just me and my daddy

2009-07-01T06:14:00.000-07:00

Guess I should have posted these on Father's Day! Better late then never.

2009-06-26T06:50:00.000-07:00

Like my mohawk?

More pictures of Faith and Samantha to come!

Closer, closer, accomplished!

2009-06-26T06:47:00.001-07:00

He has been working towards it for weeks now. He would get so close, but not quite completely make it. But yesterday he finally figured it out...

He rolled over!!!!!!! From his back to his belly.

For the last 2 weeks he would roll all the way over, be on his stomach, but not quite be able to get his shoulder over. I didn't consider it rolling over until he could get his shoulder out from under him. Yesterday was the day though!

It was really exciting, until when, at 2 am, he rolled over and couldn't roll back over to his back, got mad, mama had to get up to roll him back over, and then he kept doing it.

My baby is growing up!

Must see video

2009-06-22T19:26:00.001-07:00

I just got this in an email from my husband. It was beautifully done, made me cry, and instantly wanted to share it with everyone. It is 9 minutes long, but please take the time to see it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXut0HxncvY

Babywearing

2009-06-22T06:20:00.000-07:00

I have meant to write a post about baby wearing, I just never did. I just absolutely love my Maya Wrap. It goes just about everywhere with me, especially if it is me alone with all 3 kiddos. I got it when Faith was a baby, hardly ever used it because I didnt' spend the time to figure it out, didn't really need it with Samantha she was such a content baby, but with Elijah it has been a life saver. And he loves it too! The last picture I have is from the beginning of May. I am now able to carry him on my hip using this wrap. He doesn't like the kangaroo carry and so I don't use that one. Guess I should take another picture soon.

Ballgame on 4/25

From 5/11

Side View

See, nice and comfy!

From 5/15

Pulled

2009-06-21T18:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like you were meant to be somewhere, even if that somewhere is somewhere you have never been? Do I have you confused yet? 2 years ago we went up to South Dakota for our very first ever vacation. Chris and I were sitting around talking about going somewhere and he just blurted out, how about South Dakota. Neither one of us knew what was up there, he said it just came to him. When we looked into it more we saw that was where Mount Rushmore, the Black Hills, the Badlands, and Deadwood all were.

Honestly, we were looking for places to move to. We knew we wanted to go north and we knew we had to get away from where we were. So to South Dakota we went, looking for a place we might call home. Our trip was coming to an end and we were trying to figure out which church to go to. Since we were trying to find one as more than just visitors, we wanted to make sure that the church was sound. I was finally able to call around to some on Saturday when we stayed at a hotel in Rapid City. I called several, never getting in contact with any one. I was really hoping to talk with someone so our last Sunday there would be productive. I ended up calling one in a different city, not too far away but in the opposite direction as what we would be traveling to go home. On their answering machine was the number to one of the elders. So...I called him up. Unfortunate though, my phone kept cutting in and out but I was able to talk with him long enough to get his e-mail, so I could e-mail him my questions. It turned out they were a sound, conservative church. It took me a little while to convince Chris, since he didn't want to go int he opposite direction. I didn't give up and finally convinced him to go to this one instead of taking a blind shot at going to one in the town we were in. I didn't know why, but I just felt pulled to that church.

The church was great and the elder I spoke to over the phone invited us to lunch at his house. Now normally Chris would have politely declined and would have said he wanted to get on the road and get home. He always just wants to get the drive over with. But this time he actually accepted, much to my surprise. It turned out that lunch with this elder not only helped Chris realize that preaching school was an option, but that that church would also help support him during his school. Definitely WAY more than we were ever expecting. And I have no doubt God's hand was involved in that.

Well, I'm getting that feeling again. Chris has been in contact with an elder at a church for the last couple of years. It is in a state we have never been to, at a church we have never been to. Through conversations though we know they are a sound church. I knew it had been awhile since Chris sent him an e-mail so I decided to send him an update on our new addition as well as letting him know how school was going for Chris. I couldn't tell you what made me decide to email him since I, myself, have never spoken to him. It just felt like something I needed to do. Ever since though I just have this strong pull to go there. I know they have been looking for a preacher for a long time. Chris has sent him one of his recent sermons, just because he asked to hear it. He then let Chris know that if he is in the area this summer (which we won't be) that they would love to have him guest preach. I just can't shake this feeling though. I think Chris is going to contact him again at the beginning of next year, when he starts looking for jobs, to see if he can officially apply (if they are even still looking). Whether they have found a preacher or if they just don't want Chris, I think we are still going to go there next summer. For some reason I just know we need to meet that congregation. It will be on my mind for the next year too, which really stinks. I just don't know why I'm getting this feeling again, but it is just like it was up in South Dakota.

Have you guys ever had this happen? I feel like I'm going crazy. OK, maybe I am crazy.

Whirlwind

2009-06-18T11:55:00.000-07:00

That pretty much describes the last week and a half of my life. Things have been nuts. Last week was the end of Chris's official school year. That means that I had a ton of notes to type up for him by Thursday. Of course Elijah wasn't cooperating and every time I sat down to type he would wake up. As you can imagine, it is a bit difficult to type while holding a baby. From Monday to Wednesday I was up past midnight. Of course I was also getting blasted by work. The guy I work for, who I usually barely get 2 hours a week of work all of a sudden kept sending more and more work. THEN my sister sent me work to proofread. It wouldn't have been so bad if Chris hadn't taken the laptop with him to Michigan over the weekend. I had no choice but to get it all done by Friday at noon.

While Chris was in Michigan meeting with a congregation, I went down to my dad's to visit. It's always easier on the girls to be away from home when daddy is gone. Gets their minds on other things. Chris and I both got back on Monday, we relaxed Tuesday, and then went camping on Wednesday.

We love to camp, but it's getting harder and harder. Not because of the children, but because of the completely rude, inconsiderate people who now go camping. There were only 2 people camping, us and 1 other tent. It's actually why we like to go camping midweek. The other tent showed up on Wednesday evening and just started blasting their car radio. Chris had just started walking over there to ask them to turn it down but a county cop drove by at that time and told them to turn it down. It didn't last long though. They kept it up (well, quieter than before but still loud) until 4 in the morning. I know it's crazy, but we actually like the SERENITY of camping. Time before last, some people across from us sat up all night playing their quitar and singing (well, shouting actually). 99% of the time it was Your Love by Outfield. From about 2 in the afternoon until, well, the wee hours of the morning. Over and over and over. I overhead them talking the next morning about that night, meaning they were staying, so we packed up and went home. They have all had camping attendants but apparently they don't care enough to do something about it.

So that about sums up the last few weeks. I have to upload the pics from my camera and will post pictures soon!

3 months!

2009-06-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

Yup, my baby turned 3 months yesterday. He is still quite the chunker butt! I'm guessing he weights about 15 pounds now, and he is really long. Sleep is still touch and go. Breastfeeding...not going so well...sigh. Last night I came down with mastitis for the 3rd time in 2 months. So for the last 2 months I have either been in continuous pain from the yeast or I have been incredibly sick with mastitis. I wanted to breastfeed for his whole first year but I don't know how to continue. I have tried everything under the sun for the thrush, but nothing seems to be working. When I breastfeed at night, the pain will keep me up for another hour. I am so tired of hurting and being sick but I am so heartbroken to even think about weaning him already. I just don't understand what is going on. I had absolutely no problems with Faith or Samantha, so why am I having so many problems now? I just feel so selfish if I give up. I know breastfeeding is best for him but I'm going to give up because I don't feel well. Because I'm tired of hurting. Me. Me. Me.

In other news, I went to a $5 fill a bag sale at Children's Orchard yesterday. I scored $125 worth of clothes for 10 bucks. Most of it is for Faith. By the time I got to the 3T bin, most things were gone, same thing for the 3-6 month bin and 12 month bin (for winter stuff). As you can imagine, things went fast! I would have filled a few more bags if they had more stuff out. Not that I'm complaining!

Dentist...yeah, not so much

2009-06-04T20:05:00.001-07:00

So, yesterday was technically Faith's second dentist appointment. It, however, went much like the first. She cowered behind my legs, wouldn't even come close to the chair, let alone open her mouth. They told me to just bring her back in 6 months. If I notice any problems in her mouth to let them know and they will refer me to a dentist who can sedate her. Wow, now doesn't THAT sound like fun! I don't see it going any better in 6 months though. It's just the way she is. She really doesn't like meeting new people and is so extremely reserved to new people. I can't really say anything because I was (am) the same way. I have gotten better as I got older, but I was the exact same way when I was her age. I guess we will try again. I really have no idea how old she is actually going to be when she finally gets her teeth clean.

Baby weight versus Jillian

2009-06-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, 30 Day Shred, or as I am now going to refer to it...30 Day Dead. Because, if I make it to 30 days still alive it is going to be a miracle. Today was Day 1. Day 1. I think Jillian trying to reach out through the TV and kill me. She has the worlds most evil grin. Is it really even a grin? She is evil. I can now feel for her groups on Biggest Loser...ok, I've only watched it once...but still. And I only had her for 20 minutes. The absolute longest 20 minutes of my life. If this video doesn't make me lose weight, then I am going to deem it a lost cause and just give up trying. It has been 30 minutes since I finished and I am still dragging my feet along when I walk, not quiet able to pick them up. And I am only on Level 1. There are 3 Levels. I think it will take the rest of my life to get to Level 2. BUT...I have my fingers crossed that I will get results. I didn't cheat, and only took a couple of breaks that were only seconds long. I do have a few disclaimers for those who are thinking about trying this crazy video:

1) If you have just had a baby and don't quite have control of your bladder, wear a pad! Jumping jacks, jump ropes, etc NOT GOOD ON THE BLADDER. I peed my pants. Seriously. OK...so probably more info than you want.

2) Make sure the baby is nice and asleep. I just set Eli in his bouncy seat while I worked out. I figured 20 minutes...no problem, he can just sit and watch. Well, by the time I was done, he was fussing, and it was hard to trust myself to be able to not only pick him up, but to walk with him.

Seeing how my muscles are still literally shaking this long after the video, I have a feeling I am soooooo going to be hurting tomorrow.

What is going on???

2009-05-29T07:26:00.001-07:00

Can someone tell me why, for the past 2 weeks Samantha has been doing awesome with potty training. She has had no accidents, was wearing panties without a problem. And then, yesterday and today, she doesn't seem to want to go to the potty until AFTER she has an accident. She pooped 3 times in her panties just yesterday, and had 2 pee accidents before I finally gave up and put her in a diaper. This morning, I just got her dressed without a diaper. She just peed in her pants...AGAIN. I have no clue what is going on and why she is regressing. We were doing so good!

I just don't like it

2009-05-29T07:11:00.001-07:00

My baby is a growing....way to fast if you ask me! He has outgrown just about all of his 0-3 month stuff and is now in 3-6 month. I only have a few outfits here at home, the rest are in storage. Guess I'd better get there and get them out!

Serious decisions

2009-05-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

On our way back from the church Chris preached at this past Sunday, we hit again on a subject we have come back to time and again since Faith was born. The mighty subject of what would happen to our children if, God forbid, something should happen to the both of us. Who would they go to?

While we have hit on it before, I can't seem to get it out of my head these past few days. It's never easy to decide these things, because really, who really wants to think of someone else parenting your children. It's even more difficult for us because we have certain qualifications we would like to have met. We want them to be raised by Christians, a fellow brother and sister in the Lords church. That leaves out, well, all of our family. We have talked about it so many times, and we just don't feel comfortable leaving them with either side. If not family, who then?

That is what we don't have the answer to. Who would be willing to take all 3 of our children and who isn't family? Someone who would raise them as their own and raise them according to God's word. I'm going to guess there aren't many who would. It seems most everyone else who we attend with all have family who are also members. They all have someone they can go to. We have no one though.

I want to have a plan. I want to be able to choose who they go with. Yet, we have no idea where or how to even start or bring up the subject.

This is just such a serious decision...I'm just about in tears just typing this post up.

I survived

2009-05-26T12:58:00.000-07:00

My mom's trip that is. It was quite uncomfortable and I was constantly watching what I said but I survived. She was actually only with us a few hours each day. To be honest, I don't know why she bothered except to get pictures to send back to show she was here and to take to work to play off she is the greatest grandparent ever. Sunday I expected because Chris was preaching at a congregation that was a bit of a drive. But Saturday she was able to spend the whole day with us. You know how long we saw her? 4 hours. Broken up into 2 2 hour chunks. Before she left Sunday night I was mentioning something about breastfeeding Eli for a year. She got the most disgusted look on her face and said, "you mean you aren't weaning at 6 months?" I said, "a no, not if I can help it, why?" (I asked why because of the disgusted face and her tone of voice). She said, "don't you think that is a little OLD?". Apparently weaning at the ripe old age of 1 is disgusting. Ah well, at least that trip is over. Probably won't have to deal with this for another year.

Not again

2009-05-22T20:35:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago I realized after I fed Elijah that I was getting the burning pain back again. The next night it was so bad that I couldn't go back to sleep. It was then that I realized I had thrust AGAIN. So, off I went and applied the Gentian Violet. The next day, in the early afternoon, I realized I was starting to get really achy. I had done quiet a bit of scrubbing and figured I was just sore. It just kept getting worse though. I finally decided to take my temp just to see. Sure enough, a fever. Then I realized just how bad my breast was hurting. Lifted my shirt only to find half of it looking pretty angrily red and swollen. Ah yes, mastitis again. Because, you know, it wasn't fun enough the first time.

Luckily I didn't get as sick as the first time. I went ahead and called the doc and got an antibiotic just in case it got worse throughout the night. Luckily though my fever broke and I haven't taken them yet. I am still swollen and really sore though. Feeding Elijah on that side is just pure pain. It's unbelievable how much it hurts when he eats. All I can do is grit my teeth and keep chugging along, hoping it all heals up soon.

I'm pretty sure I know the reason. For the past week and a half I have been feeling really run down. I don't know why, I've been getting the same amount of sleep, but getting through the days had been hard. Chris has been so busy at school that I have only seen him about 30 minutes each day. Certainly didn't help with the run down bit. So yeah, that probably messed with my immune system and as a prize I get mastitis. It's the only thing I can think of as to why I would get it again.

And to top it all off my mom got here today. Today went ok, fingers are crossed that the rest of the weekend will go the same.

See...I wasn't exaggerating!

2009-05-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

Photographic proof! How is he able to do this so early??? Why do my babies like to grow up so fast???

An update of sorts

2009-05-20T13:10:00.001-07:00

I'm really really not looking forward to this weekend. My mom has finally decided to come up to visit and meet her newest grandchild. You know, the one who I spoke about earlier who has told me she is ashamed of me. Yeah, this should be fun. Absolutely nothing has been resolved, she has just chosen to sweep it all under the rug and pretend we are one big happy family. I hate that. Sweeping things under the rug. It's how my family always deals with things when in reality, nothing really gets dealt with. Like today when I was talking to her she said, "I know you don't care for your brother but he really is a good kid". I just about blew up and asked when in the world did I ever say I don't care about him. In fact, I have said the opposite time and time again. Then she quickly said, oh nevermind, I was mistaken. I did tell her though that if she was going to be throwing in jabs like that the entire weekend she might as well stay home. Her tune quickly changed.

Yeah, fun times ahead indeed. Ugh!

Our PAT person came today for her last visit until fall. The girls have already had their evals and so this was just a playtime visit. She also got to meet Elijah and was checking his motor skills. She put him on his belly and completely lifted himself onto his arms, lifted his chest off the ground, and was holding his head up so high and leaving it there. I just about had a heart attack! That was the first time he had done that and I know he isn't suppose to be able to do it for another couple of months. She asked if I was giving him a lot of tummy time, and I told her I had to confess that actually, no, I don't give him as much as I'm suppose to. Usually just once a day. While he was on his belly he was also started to push out with his legs, scooting across his mat. If he keeps this up we are going to have another early crawler. Why do my babies always insist on growing up so fast?

Faith had her last ice skating lesson for this session. She won't start back up until June 9th. Her teacher wasn't able to advance. I knew she wouldn't, she still needs a little more work on one of the requirements. The teacher was so sweet though. She said she felt terrible for not being about to advance her (she absolutely loves Faith). I told her I completely understood. The teacher said if she had advanced her she would have had a lot of problems in the next level. I told her the most important thing was that Faith learn the fundamentals of skating and that she have fun doing it. I don't want her advanced just for the sake of advancing. She is just so thin she doesn't have the same muscle strength as the others yet, which make her have difficulty on the one part.

The other kids that were there today are 5, she is just 3...I think it will be ok!!! Plus, I think the others had already been through that level a few times because from day 1 they already knew how to do some of the stuff.

I'm still amazed at how well she is doing. All of the kids pick up skating so quickly.

Here's a pick from my birthday last month:

And Sammy lovin on baby brother:

Whew, don't want to go through yesterday again!

2009-05-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

As you can tell, I had a pretty hard day yesterday. Someone (and most of the time more than 1) was always screaming, crying, whining, etc the WHOLE day. I don't think I'm exaggerating much either. There wasn't a moment I had to myself, from 7 am to 10 pm, since Elijah has decided to forgo naps...well, unless I'm holding him of course. If I dare put him down you would think I was beating the poor thing. I've never heard him scream so hard and loud before until yesterday, all day. At night he nursed for at least an hour and a half until I finally got him to sleep around 10:00. So yeah, talk about sore.

So yeah, by the time the girls' bedtime rolled around I was coming unglued. My head was just throbbing and my patience had long disappeared. I just hate myself when I get like that. I ended up just crying myself to sleep.

Around 2:00 this morning I heard him spit up. Like it actually woke me from my sleep. I laid there for a minute thinking, that was weird, usually there isn't a noise when he spits up. I went to check on him and he was absolutely soaked, half the crib was soaked. I have no clue how much that poor boy threw up, but I have never seen anything like it. I got him rinsed off, changed his clothes, and just brought him back to me because honestly, I just didn't feel like changing his sheet at that moment. About an hour later, same thing. He started gagging and then before I knew it, I was covered. Luckily nothing got on our bed though just on me. So I make sure he's cleaned off, change my shirt and back to bed we go. He never had a fever or anything so I wonder if that hour and a half session really did him in. He didn't act sick today either, thank goodness!

I just can't get past this no sleeping deal though. He sleeps at night just fine but trying to get him to sleep during the daytime is becoming a bit taxing. 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there. No wonder he is such a crank at night.

Luckily today was much better. Still no sleeping during the day, but at least it wasn't everyone having a bad day all on the same day. I can deal with 1 or 2 at a time, but when all 3 are having it bad....oi. Hopefully it won't happen again any time soon.

Not a good night

2009-05-12T19:14:00.001-07:00

I didn't have a very good night tonight. I'm going to bed not feeling like a very good person, a very good mother.

Tonight I feel like a failure. A failure as a mother, a failure as a wife, a failure as a Christian, a failure as a person.

What has been on my mind lately

2009-05-11T11:54:00.001-07:00

It's crazy to even be thinking about this now, but I just can't help myself. I wonder IF Chris is going to be able to find a preaching job (hopefully up north) and if so, WHERE we will be. He still has another year of school but I just can't stop thinking about it. I know it's harder to go up north. There just aren't as many opportunities. But that's where we really want to go. It has been on my mind for a couple of reasons.

First, Chris needs a new car. Well, a new used car, not a new new car. We are really iffy on getting one though. We can pay for it right now, but both of us are a little weary on what happens next year if he hasn't found a job and he no longer has support. That's not an extra payment that we would need on our minds.

Secondly because I recently sent an e-mail to a church that we have been in contact with over the last 2 years just to let them know about our new addition and to update on how Chris is doing. They have been looking for a preacher for the last 2 years but haven't been able to find someone. At the end of his reply email he said he would love to hear one of Chris's sermons. So that got me wondering if he wanted to hear just to see how much he has improved (he heard one of his sermons before he started school), of if he wanted to hear because he may possibly consider Chris for the job, even though he still has another year of school left. I figure they have already waited 2 years, what's another year. I really hate that I'm thinking about it too because I do this to myself all the time and just end up disappointed. We would love to go up to this area, and Chris has had some great discussions and phone calls with this elder. We have never physically been to this church, but he knows what they believe in.

So why can't I stop thinking about all of this??? It's driving me absolutely insane. While I thought about it here and there, I wasn't quite so bad until this last e-mail. Now, I can't stop thinking about the what if's. As hard as I try, I have a hard time being patient!

I wonder if it's also on my mind because I've been thinking more lately on starting to get ready for our 1 month stay up in Minnesota this summer (and a detour to South Dakota to visit another congregation) while Chris works with a congregation. Packing for a month for a family of five is such a daunting task. I run through different lists in my head and it just feels like we are going to have to pack up just about the whole house. Moreso on the kiddos stuff and I don't exactly have a whole big wardrobe to choose from. I mean, I'm going to have to pack things like Eli's bathtub and the girls' seat that goes on the toilet. Then comes the matter on when to get started. Most of this stuff isn't going to be able to be packed up until the day before. So do I just wait and pack everything the day before we leave??? That would be quite the task but I don't know how else to do it. And to think, I still have 2 more months to drive myself crazy over this trip!

So these two issue have been taking up some serious room in the brain. Hopefully it's just a phase and I won't be thinking about it so much.

And, more photos. Here is some playtime fun on a rainy day.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T19:03:00.001-07:00

There are so many posts swimming around in my head it isn't even funny. So much I want to talk about, pictures I want to post. Ah, now if only I had some TIME to do all of this! Don't worry, not going to happen on this post.

I just wanted to say Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there! What did I get for this very special day??? SICK. Ugh. I went with Chris to a church today while he preached that was just over 2 hours away. On the way home I started feeling a little achy. By the time it was time to head back to church for evening services, I was still achy and thought I might have a temp. I took it really quick just to be sure and yup, sure did. So, I went ahead and stayed home so I wouldn't get anyone else sick. I just hope I don't get Elijah sick. Talk about feeling terrible!

Here's some pictures to end with. I finally caught Eli's grin! This is also proof of my day and why I have to keep constant surveillance if he is put on the floor. It's like the know the second he is put down. When he is, this is what happens. Nope, they don't love their brother at all.

Suspicions confirmed

2009-05-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

I have a big boy!

He is 13 pounds even and 24 inches long. He is in the 75th percentile for both. He still seems longer than that though. Even the doc commented on how long he was.

The first time she measured him he was 23 inches. I knew that couldn't be right but I didn't say anything. I mean, he was almost 22 inches when he was born and I knew he grew more than an inch. Then the doc came in and commented on how long he looked. So, when the nurse came back in I had her remeasure him. She got 24 inches this time. That sounded more reasonable.

Hopefully he will always be a little bigger than the girls so he can scare away any future....boys. Well, whichever boys are brave enough to get past Chris anyway.

2 months, already!

2009-05-06T12:25:00.000-07:00

On the one hand I can't believe it has already been 2 months, on the other hand I can't believe it has only been 2 months. I'm not sure if it is possible for time to both speed up and stop and the same time, but it sure does feel like it.

Elijah is growing just amazingly. I won't know exactly how much until his check-up tomorrow morning, but I know it has been pretty big. He just seem so long. He is starting to go through spurts where he doesn't want to be put down. Some days he will sleep really well, other days he will only sleep for 20 minutes at a time, and then doesn't want to be put down because he is cranky, because he is tired. It's the times that I can't hold him and he cries out that just kill me. Obviously not a whole lot I can do when I'm in the middle of changing Samantha's poopy diaper. His sleeping habits at night are starting to become a noticeable routine. He is a night owl and won't go to sleep until 10:30 or so. He will then sleep until 3 or 4, then wakes again around 6. After the 6:00 feeding he always gets really gasses and will grunt and groan until about 7, when he finally is able to relieve the pressure...then he falls back to sleep.

I love to be greeted in the mornings by his wonderful smile. OK, love isn't quite the word for it. He is always in such a good mood when he first wakes up.

Ah, my sweet little boy!