Gone baby gone

I have been wanting to blog all week, but it just hasn't worked out that way. Today is the first day we have been home all day and it is also the first time I have all 3 children to sleep, at the same time, all in their own beds.

So as I sit here enjoying the amazingly beautiful day, in the quite of my house with the fresh breeze coming in, I sit amazed at how blessed I am. I know I don't deserve any of it, yet God has still given me such blessings in my life. I am so incredibly in love with my children and feel their unspoiled, pure love towards everything in their life. They make me laugh, they make me cry, and yes, they make me want to pull my hair out at times (you know, like when they go to bed 2 hours late yet still wake up at the same time causing meltdowns at the drop of the hat...ah yes, it was a long morning). I never want to imagine what it would be like to NOT have them in my life, not even for a second, because my life would be so empty without their faces. They make me a better person because I want to be a better role model for them and I want them to be raised knowing God and his everlasting love for us.

I am so very fortunate to be home with them all day. I can't imagine having to send them to day care. I love being here every time they learn something new, or just sitting and watching them laugh and play. I know it's not an option for all people, but am so very blessed it is for me.

We were at a visiting church this past weekend and a couple took us out to eat afterwards. We were sitting there talking and the woman said they were marrying off their baby this spring. As the conversation went on, it turns out their baby was only 17 years old which I thought was just nuts. But the mother just kept saying how happy she was that they were going to have the house to themselves now. It almost sounded like she was pushing for the marriage just so she would be out of the house. When she asked what we were planning for school for our children and we told her we were homeschooling, she said oh no, not me...I couldn't get my children off to kindergarten fast enough. I just didn't even know what to say. I love having my children with me and I love being such a big part in their lives. I look forward to being the one to teach them and watch as they enjoy learning about different things. It would break my heart to have to send them away. And I definitely do not look forward to the day when our house is quiet because our children have grown and moved away. It saddens me to try to think that far ahead. Yet here I was sitting across from a woman who could never wait for her children to be gone.

After more conversating I found out that she was also married when she was 17 and had her first child shortly after. I wonder if that had anything to do with it. Maybe it is because she didn't know how it felt to face the possibility of never having a child, maybe she just didn't appreciate what she had in her children, I'm not really sure, but the difference between us couldn't have been any clearer.

I view our children as a precious gift from God and take that gift very seriously. They (along with Chris) are the loves of my life. They are the most beautiful things in the world.

And with just to end with a little story: Last Wednesday during Bible class Samantha wouldn't say her OT books and so she wasn't able to get a toy out of the treasure chest. She can say them, we do it every day, but I guess she just didn't want to talk. So yesterday I asked Samantha if she was going to say them today so she could get her toy as well. Faith was being really encouraging to her and letting her know that she could do it. Then, after class last night, the first thing Faith said when she saw me was, "mama, Samantha said the books today so she got a toy!" She was simply beaming. Faith was so proud of Samantha for saying them. It was so beautiful. It's times like these that I try to soak up every memory.

Nope, I will never wish for my children to be gone.