The story

Guess I should explain.

We pretty much had the job. There was just one little problem. Ok, not so little. Their stance on marriage/divorce/remarriage was different than ours, which is a pretty big deal. Not so much that you can divorce and remarry under any reason under the sun, but they thought that if you were divorced for any reason other than your spouse cheating and you were remarried, and then you became a Christian, then that relationship is suddenly ok and you are free to stay in that current marriage. Chris equates it to stealing a sports car before you are a Christian, then at a later time you become a Christian, is it still right to keep that car that you stole before you became a Christian, or is it ok for you to keep it since you are now free from that sin?

Unfortunately this is a big deal for us because we have been through a congregation that differed on opinions on this topic. Only it was a prominent member trying to teach that you can divorce and remarry for any reason. Still, we saw the damage it does and the struggles when the preacher is on different terms with other members regarding this. Every other thing they agreed on, just not this one.

The good news, if there is any to be had, is that the elder did say that he is willing to sit and do a Bible study and study this topic more. He explained that that was the decision they had come to just doing their own private study between the 3 elders and that he knows they aren't perfect. Chris is going to talk to one of his teachers to see if he would mind doing the study over the phone with them. I don't know if it will do any good, but we feel we at least need to try. Not for a job, but for the congregation.

So, for my own sanity I have shut the door. I can't keep that hope in there that they may, at some point in the next few months, change their minds on this topic. Tuesday was hard. I cried, a lot, all day long. I had mentally and emotionally seen us raising our family there. That is a hard thing to get over. Especially since they didn't say no. His response was that he thinks WE would have a problem coming there, since Chris talked about the previous congregation during his interview.

It's also hard because there haven't been many jobs being posted. And we are at just about the 2 month mark. Seeing how long it took us to get this far with that congregation, I have zero hope that we will be able to find something in the next 2 months. In 2 months we will have no income coming in. In 5 months we will be welcoming our 4th child. If we still haven't found a preaching job by the time this little one comes into the world, we will be a family of 6 in a small, 2 bedroom apartment. Chris said we would have to find a house to rent. I told him financially that would be impossible. Rent would be higher and we would be responsible for the water/trash/sewer bill as well as the internet bill (I do very part-time work from home). Cable would obviously be a no-go. All of this is included in our apartment rent. And we would be doing this on less income than we are bringing in now.

It just stinks because this was where we really wanted to go. And we had the job. And it's just really hard to just get over. I am thankful though that we found out about this before we moved there. That is a huge blessing. What I need to keep in mind and keep reminding myself is that God is in control and He WILL take care of us. My feelings keep going back and forth between peace at knowing He is taking care of us and panic when I start letting my own worries get the best of me. It's a struggle for me, to be honest.

It's just scary not having a single prospect.